Mum settling into new abode

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by PeterS, Apr 18, 2005.

  1. PeterS

    PeterS Registered User

    Apr 18, 2005
    3
    worcestershire
    Mum (93)has severe dementia, and today she moved to an Abbeyfields residence nearer to us. She does not understand why we want her to be cared for and tonight had umpteen calls with her in a distressed state about being in one room on the ground floor, and having to go and eat with the others. It is a wonderful place and the staff and other residents are very supportive, to no avail.
    Perhaps it will take time, but how can we make short term success. We have made her abode/possessions as close to how it was.
    :(
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Peter, hang on in there, it will take a while for your Mum to settle, it would even without dementia for any of us really. If the staff and other residents are supportive then hopefully the move will be a success. My own Mum managed nearly three years in warden assisted flats before she had to move in with us. Give her time, be patient, visit or call often to reassure her and keep your fingers crossed, I will too, love She. XX
     
  3. PeterS

    PeterS Registered User

    Apr 18, 2005
    3
    worcestershire
    Many thanks for your reply. Not a lot has changed so far. But fingers crossed.
     
  4. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Peter, don't mean to be dismissive, but Lionel is 63. Point taken I hope. This isnan awful route thst we all have tontravel. Connie.
     
  5. janey

    janey Registered User

    Jun 29, 2004
    86
    Hello Peter
    I think as She said it will take time. From my own experience with my Mum it seems to be familiarity that is the key. It took Mum a few months before she seemed to be settled, even though we did as you have and filled her room with her pictures and possessions. It is such a huge change, and there are so many new faces - very hard for anyone, especially someone of 93 and with dementia. I guess it might be a rocky few weeks for you all. Four months down the line, it is my Dad and me who are still upset at Mum being in a home, rather than Mum herself. I console myself with the fact that now she seems to feel 'at home' Mum appears to be happy most of the time - it is Dad who needs comforting now.
    Hope the situation gets easier soon.
     
  6. PeterS

    PeterS Registered User

    Apr 18, 2005
    3
    worcestershire
    Thanks Connie and Janey for your replies and support. I 'think' the last few days have been easier. Mum has phoned us less, but is still complaining, sometimes hysterically, about things that do not occur. And so the conversation repeats itself every time. I think when the tablet wears off daily it is worse, so that is our next objective with the Dr. She is at least now joining the others at mealtimes and actually joined in listening to the talk they had last Weds. So yes, we are resigned to battling it out for a few weeks. Anybody got a spare tape recorder!
     
  7. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,149
    Toronto, Canada
    Peter,
    Chin up - it took my mother about 6 weeks before she stopped packing every single day. Even though she had no luggage, she managed to find plastic garbage bags & would stuff every thing she had in it. I would come in after work & help her unpack. I though she would never stop but oh yes, it does stop eventually. Just hang in there.
    Joanne
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.