Mum settling into new abode

PeterS

Registered User
Apr 18, 2005
3
worcestershire
Mum (93)has severe dementia, and today she moved to an Abbeyfields residence nearer to us. She does not understand why we want her to be cared for and tonight had umpteen calls with her in a distressed state about being in one room on the ground floor, and having to go and eat with the others. It is a wonderful place and the staff and other residents are very supportive, to no avail.
Perhaps it will take time, but how can we make short term success. We have made her abode/possessions as close to how it was.
:(
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
West Sussex
Dear Peter, hang on in there, it will take a while for your Mum to settle, it would even without dementia for any of us really. If the staff and other residents are supportive then hopefully the move will be a success. My own Mum managed nearly three years in warden assisted flats before she had to move in with us. Give her time, be patient, visit or call often to reassure her and keep your fingers crossed, I will too, love She. XX
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Peter, don't mean to be dismissive, but Lionel is 63. Point taken I hope. This isnan awful route thst we all have tontravel. Connie.
 

janey

Registered User
Jun 29, 2004
86
Hello Peter
I think as She said it will take time. From my own experience with my Mum it seems to be familiarity that is the key. It took Mum a few months before she seemed to be settled, even though we did as you have and filled her room with her pictures and possessions. It is such a huge change, and there are so many new faces - very hard for anyone, especially someone of 93 and with dementia. I guess it might be a rocky few weeks for you all. Four months down the line, it is my Dad and me who are still upset at Mum being in a home, rather than Mum herself. I console myself with the fact that now she seems to feel 'at home' Mum appears to be happy most of the time - it is Dad who needs comforting now.
Hope the situation gets easier soon.
 

PeterS

Registered User
Apr 18, 2005
3
worcestershire
Thanks Connie and Janey for your replies and support. I 'think' the last few days have been easier. Mum has phoned us less, but is still complaining, sometimes hysterically, about things that do not occur. And so the conversation repeats itself every time. I think when the tablet wears off daily it is worse, so that is our next objective with the Dr. She is at least now joining the others at mealtimes and actually joined in listening to the talk they had last Weds. So yes, we are resigned to battling it out for a few weeks. Anybody got a spare tape recorder!
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,423
66
Toronto, Canada
Peter,
Chin up - it took my mother about 6 weeks before she stopped packing every single day. Even though she had no luggage, she managed to find plastic garbage bags & would stuff every thing she had in it. I would come in after work & help her unpack. I though she would never stop but oh yes, it does stop eventually. Just hang in there.
Joanne