Mum seems to have given up

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Kathleen, Nov 23, 2005.

  1. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Hello

    In the few short weeks since Mum came off galantamine, she has deteriorated rapidly. There is no obvious medical reason for her being like this, the GP has said physically she is fine.

    She has hardly eaten anything for the last two weeks and for the last two days seems to have given up trying to fight. It is as if she has switched off.

    She sits calmly with her eyes closed and occasionally opens them to say a few words that have no real meaning. I can see her slipping away in front of my eyes and is is heart-breaking as I can't seem to reach her any more.

    A similar pattern came this time last year when she was poorly for a few weeks, then suddenly seemed to wake up with a vengance and was on a real high for ages, which was fantastic to see, especially as it happened two days before Christmas. The psychiatrist said it was a psychotic episode, whatever that is.

    This time, sadly, there is no galantamine to help her poor old brain out and I have a dreadful feeling that she has simply let go of life.

    Have any of you had this happen to your loved ones at all?

    I am so torn as part of me wants her to be at peace and with Dad again, but an equal part can't bear even the thought of losing her, even though I know I have to one day. I keep telling myself she will get well again, but am I kidding myself.

    Kathleen
    xx
     
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Sorry Kathleen, this situation is not something I have experienced. Just wanted to say "thinking of you"at this difficult time.

    Hopefully someone on T.P. will be able to offer something more positive. Take care of yourself, Connie
     
  3. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    Kathleen I'm so sorry to hear of your heartache.

    I went through some of what you speak of, but not with that drug.

    I watched mum come in and out of these espisodes and was also torn between not wanting to lose her and wanting her to have peace. She finally found that peace, and part of me did with her.

    Thinking of you and hoping things improve for you both.
     
  4. jc141265

    jc141265 Registered User

    Sep 16, 2005
    836
    Australia
    Kathleen,

    I have gone through that with Dad though he's not on that drug. However earlier this year all his meds were gradually reduced and like your Mum last year he also came down with some other kind of illness and I swear to you I thought it was all over, the look in his eyes was of defeat. I knew it was only going to be a matter of time.....

    Had about 3 weeks of that and then he did a remarkable turn around and now my heart hurts for another reason because he tries so hard and for what? Never happy eh? Its like a roller coaster ride as I have said before, one minute your up, the next you are down.

    Maybe your mum is just having a rest under a tree for a bit (did you see my metaphor for alzheimers in a tea room post, likening it to being lost in a forest?) Definitely, the is often a very noticeable adjustment period whenver medications are changed. The registered nurse at Dad's told me you should always give it a few weeks before you panic.

    By the way Dad is pretty much med free these days and he has stabilised....this is the most stable I have seen him for 3 years! Makes me wonder sometimes if it was the medications doing it all! :p
     
  5. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Thank you for your replies, they have helped a lot to make me feel less alone. I love the resting under the tree idea.

    I am torn between wanting her to stay and letting her go to Dad. It has only been 14 months since Dad died and I have yet to grieve properly for him, so the thought of what will happen when Mum dies too is very very scary.

    I think that now she is off drugs at least nature will take its course, whatever the outcome, so it is a question of watching and waiting.

    I am very lucky to have a fantastic husband sister and children who are all pulling for Mum as well and we do support each other at any difficult time, so we will get through this together.

    Kathleen
    xx
     
  6. Lulu

    Lulu Registered User

    Nov 28, 2004
    391
    Dear Kathleen, I can't offer you much help, but by adding to your thread in the hope that you will feel less alone.

    I can empathise with you about your Dad though, as I feel as though there has been no space to grieve for mine, and he died 2 years ago. It is such a horrible situation.

    I am thinking of you.
     
  7. EllieS

    EllieS Registered User

    Aug 23, 2005
    170
    SOMERSET
    KATHLEEN

    My thoughts are with you - hope your Mum is still calm - at least that's something isn't it. Who knows what tomorrow may bring? Think nice thoughts & memories - I'm sure you have many of those.

    Luv Ellie

    NAT
    "Makes me wonder sometimes if it was the medications doing it all! "

    I had/have exactly the same thoughts with Dad and now Mum - sometimes with Dad I really wished I had the courage to ask the Doctor to remove the medication and see what happened. He'd been diagnosed with PD - but never really had any of the specific characteristics of that disease. I read about PD, AD, Dementia and all of the symptoms Dad did have were covered by all of these.

    Their age , coupled with family problems and the lack of will to live for both Mum and Dad at the time could possibly have contributed to their health & mental state.

    But, who knows and anyway, I never had the courage anyway - what if I was wrong!!!

    Ellie
     

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