Mum refuses to see GP

[father ted]

Several years ago Mum had bowel op for diverticular disease. Since then her bowels have been unpredictable but manageable. Mum got into habit of taking Imodium to cope with symptoms because one Dr said it would do no harm to have it occasionally to cope with diarrhoea,(every other Dr said she should only have them if going out for the day or on a long journey). Over time this became habitual and we had terrible problems with her begging for one in the morning if her bowels were upset and then pleading with me for opening medicine in the afternoon because she felt bloated!

I have managed to get her off them and she complains less but still has 'issues' in that dept. I have said no more Imodium or laxatives till she sees a Dr for further investigation. I don't know whether she is scared or just thinks that at her age she would rather put up with it than have any investigations or testing. However I find it hard, she can easily spend an hour in the loo and the staff at her day centre says she is the same there and thinks she should see a Dr. I have POA for finances but not wellbeing/health and I know that she would not consent to further testing unless she was in a great deal of pain. What have others done when their relative refuses to see Dr or beyond that refuses treatment?

 

[Cat27]

Could you contact the GP & explain what's happening. Ask the GP to call your mum in for a check up.

 

[joolzt]

Cat27 is right. You don't need a welfare PoA to tell to a doctor something, although you do need one if you want to ask them for medical details.

I phoned my mum's GP even before she had dementia. She was ill and refused to let me get a doc and I respected that for 2 days but she deteriorated so I overruled her and phoned the GP. She was taken into hospital and was put on a drip for dehydration. I shouldn't even have waited 2 days and it was good I didn't wait longer.

Maybe your mum can be fixed easily, it is sad to be in so much stress unnecessarily.

Best wishes.

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[MERENAME]

My mum had loose bowels because of donpezil which was irratically controlled by imodium. She now takes other additional meds, mirtazapine and extra codeine for other issues, which means she no longer needs the imodium. My Mums bowels are a lot better and more predictable now and while I think imodium can be useful I don't think it really works long term. It's use meant my mums stools were alternately either too soft or too hard. It may be that the gp could prescribe something milder than the imodium that your mum could take daily. I'd get a phone consultation with her GP and alert them to the issue.

 

[father ted]

My mum had loose bowels because of donpezil which was irratically controlled by imodium. She now takes other additional meds, mirtazapine and extra codeine for other issues, which means she no longer needs the imodium. My Mums bowels are a lot better and more predictable now and while I think imodium can be useful I don't think it really works long term. It's use meant my mums stools were alternately either too soft or too hard. It may be that the gp could prescribe something milder than the imodium that your mum could take daily. I'd get a phone consultation with her GP and alert them to the issue.

Thank you all. Merename, my Mum is on same mess as yours and takes paracetamol/ibuprofen for pain so maybe codeine which tends to constipated you would be better. I will ask Dr's advice. It's not that I would not seek advice but I know my Mum would not consent to further testing/investigation. Any thing that can be done tween us and the GP would be great.

 

[Relm]

I phoned my mum's GP even before she had dementia. She was ill and refused to let me get a doc and I respected that for 2 days but she deteriorated so I overruled her and phoned the GP. She was taken into hospital and was put on a drip for dehydration. I shouldn't even have waited 2 days and it was good I didn't wait longer.

My mum is a bit like yours. Long before she had dementia she would make seemingly irrational decisions about her medical care such as refusing to see a doctor. Of course, in those days we could not overrule her decision.

However now that she has dementia and can not make decisions properly, we often overrule any stated reluctance to see the doc. (Just imagine the day we don't take her but it turns out to be serious and we subsequently try to explain why we listened to her objections when she can't make informed decisions.)

One could criticise us for not following her pre-dementia preference but there is too much at risk.

In our case we have LPA for health, unlike the OP. However if medical attention is needed then it is needed and a third party such as Social Services would undoubtedly reach the same conclusion, so lack of an LPA may not be such a block as it seems.