Mum recently diagnosed - moving care homes 70 miles away

Numberlock

Registered User
Feb 4, 2009
116
0
Manchester
Hello all

My mum is 87 and has recently been diagnosed with dementia. She lives around 70 miles away from me now but as her current care home do not cater for dementia needs, it seemed a good time to bring her near to me.

I have found a gppd home 5 minutes from where I live and will move her a week today. This will give nearly 2 weeks for her settle in before I go on holiday for 7 days. (She has no other family.)

I'd very much welcome advice from people who have done a similar thing and how they managed such a move. How it goes on the day will very much depend on how 'clear' she is at the time and how much she understands about what's happening. The current home have advised me to tell her she's just going for a holiday to see how she likes it.

I plan to take one of my sons with me to move her from her current home and for another son to be at the new home when we arrive.

What I don't want it to look like is that I'm kidnapping her. :)

All advice/experiences gratefully received.

Thanks in advance.
 

PeggySmith

Registered User
Apr 16, 2012
1,687
0
BANES
Hi there,

I don't have any experience of a move so far but I know others on here have and I wanted to give you a bump to the top in the hope one of them will spot your post.

I hope it all goes well for you and your mum.
 

zeeeb

Registered User
If you have the access to the other 2 sons, then I would not bother her with packing, just pick her up, take her out for a coffee and cake while someone else packs for her, then take her to the new place, and hopefully all her belongings will be sorted and in the new place. If goes well, great, if not, you don't want to have to be having her wait around for bags to be packed and things to be checked. I would personally avoid having her involved in the logistics side of things. Somehow get her things packed and in the car while she is having a meal or in the common area watching TV, get all the paperwork and bits and pieces sorted without her having to concern herself.
 

busyphil

Registered User
Aug 2, 2013
0
0
Stoke on Trent
When we moved my father from the NHS home to a private EMI nursing home we didnt tell him , the ambulance called for him and he thought he was going for an x-ray or similar , as thats what the home advised they are good at settling people in so talk to the new home how they want it to happen and they will settle your mum in nicely , dont forget to take some things along straight away she will remember, pictures for the wall , her favorite tv because she can still work the remote , has she got a favorite chair ect and you will be surprised how easy it is
 

Pheath

Registered User
Dec 31, 2009
1,094
0
UK
Hi - we transferred dad after 3 months to a new home after being unhappy with the management in his first home. Having said that it was only 5mins down the road so the physical logistics were relatively easy, he was used to going for drives so it wasn't hard getting him in the car. It did take him a while to re-settle in the new home but he's very highly strung and gets anxious and distressed easily, for somebody else it might have been smoother. It's quite difficult to predict how any move might go on the day and I've read stories on the site of people who've adapted relatively quickly to their new environment although any upheaval for someone with dementia will always have the potential to be upsetting. From what you write i'm sure you're making the right decision for the long-term and having you all there so nearby especially during the early days will do a lot to reassure her.
 
Last edited:

bunnies

Registered User
May 16, 2010
433
0
I did this for my aunt (brought her to a care home close to me). Obviously every person is different, but something I learnt is that what is most important is how you feel yourself - you want your mother to feel reassured, not alarmed, so the most important thing is that you and anyone involved in her move are calm and cheerful, and she will probably pick up on that more than anything else.
 

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