Hello
I'm new to posting, I have been reading and receiving lots of help from everyone's posts, however, I can't seem to find the best way to deal with our current situation.
Mum is in assisted living care home and has her own studio appartment. During the day she enjoys all the activities that take place, but when she is on her own in her appartment she has been ringing us on her mobile and saying she can't cope anymore, she is lonely and wants to go home. Unfortunately, I live in the next town and have my own business with part time staff and so can only visit on a weekend, I also have health issues which I am finding are getting worse due to the stress of Mum crying all the time and accusing us of 'dumping and abandoning' her. I know it is her illness and I am pretty sure it is sundowning but I am struggling as how to calm her on the end of a phone. She rang tonight at 10pm and cried for ten minutes, saying why can't she even try to be at home, she's lonely and can't take anymore.
At home she lived on her own, never saw any neighbours and before moving to assisted living only went out with myself or my sister, wasn't able to do her ahopping on her own and I have been paying bills for nearly two years as she was forgetting to pay them, thought she had paid them and then got upset when they sent reminders.
She constantly 'loses' things and searches for hours even in the care home.
We are hoping to take her out for the day on Saturday and then have her with us at our house for Christmas dinner, but part of me is dreading both occasions.
We went to visit last Saturday and she was so vindictive and venomous (I know its the illness) saying over and over that we had dumped her and never visited her, we have been every week, my sister lives up the road feom the home and goes once or twice a week.
So sorry for long post, completely at wits end.
I'm new to posting, I have been reading and receiving lots of help from everyone's posts, however, I can't seem to find the best way to deal with our current situation.
Mum is in assisted living care home and has her own studio appartment. During the day she enjoys all the activities that take place, but when she is on her own in her appartment she has been ringing us on her mobile and saying she can't cope anymore, she is lonely and wants to go home. Unfortunately, I live in the next town and have my own business with part time staff and so can only visit on a weekend, I also have health issues which I am finding are getting worse due to the stress of Mum crying all the time and accusing us of 'dumping and abandoning' her. I know it is her illness and I am pretty sure it is sundowning but I am struggling as how to calm her on the end of a phone. She rang tonight at 10pm and cried for ten minutes, saying why can't she even try to be at home, she's lonely and can't take anymore.
At home she lived on her own, never saw any neighbours and before moving to assisted living only went out with myself or my sister, wasn't able to do her ahopping on her own and I have been paying bills for nearly two years as she was forgetting to pay them, thought she had paid them and then got upset when they sent reminders.
She constantly 'loses' things and searches for hours even in the care home.
We are hoping to take her out for the day on Saturday and then have her with us at our house for Christmas dinner, but part of me is dreading both occasions.
We went to visit last Saturday and she was so vindictive and venomous (I know its the illness) saying over and over that we had dumped her and never visited her, we have been every week, my sister lives up the road feom the home and goes once or twice a week.
So sorry for long post, completely at wits end.