Hello Everyone,
I haven't been on this site for a while, but thought I'd like to let you all know that my mother aged 92,passed away on 13th March.
It was the end of a painful and exhausting part of our lives together. I cannot say I am sorry because we both needed to move on with our lives, but I do miss the mum I used to have but lost to this dreadful dementia. I just pray she is happy and at peace and her real self now, wherever she is in the universe.
Mum had been in residential care for three weeks and was begining to settle in. When I saw her on the third week, she was suffering from yet another bout of UTI and conjunctavitus. Because she could not see well, she thought the whole world was going blind and worried especially about my son and how he would cope. It was very distressing and I tried to convince her that this wasn't so, but she had an eye infection and wasn't very well. She slept most of the time I was there and said she wasn't tired but was weary. It was then I knew that her time with us was running out and she wanted to be somewhere else.
She went into a hypoglyceamic coma on the Sunday and was admitted to hospital. On the Thursday I finally convinced the doctor that to give her glucose was cruel as she was ready to pass away, and this was prolonging the agony for all of us. She agreed and Mum passed away the following Monday. It was amazing she didn't go before, I suppose she just needed to wind down in her own time.
I was with her when she passed away. Due to the shortage of beds, Mum was in the strokes unit, which was such a blessing as they gave her a room on her own and waived visiting hours for me. This was such a benefit for us as I could sit with her and chant for her [ I am a Buddhist] as I held her hand.
I have to tell you that it was a privilege and a very special thing to be with her as she left this life. It was very peaceful, just a little pain at the very end that lasted a second and she was gone. She had been unconcsious for a week almost.
When I was visiting her the week before she died, she could hardly talk or move. I sat and held her hands, which squeezed mine strongly. She finally said [in a voice that was very deep and strange] that she had to get to the blue colour, line or light - I couldn't really make out which except for the word blue. I wonder if she could see something I couldn't. Has anyone else got any experiences of what the dying may see or experience as they pass from this life?
Her funeral went amazingly well, we really gave her a good send off with as many of our family that could come. The ceremony was very beautiful and the vicar who conducted it [a woman named Sarah] was wonderful. I managed to read something about the eternity of life, before my voice broke up in tears.
We gathered back at my house which was full of her favourite flowers- daffodils. We had photos of Mum up and opened bottles of champagne to drink a toast to a marvellous lady. Later we had fireworks, and when the rocket soared up, I really felt as if her life was free again.
Many people didn't send flowers, but wanted to know what charity to send money to- I suggested the Alzheimer's Society. I really hope that awareness is raised with the TV programmes that were on recently. I didn't see any of them, it was just too soon for me to handle, but I hope as Tony Robinson had the courage to make the programme about his mother, that the Government really looks at the way elderly people are treated in this country, and how many hoops we all have to jump through in order to give them what they need and deserve.
Sorry, this message seems very jumbled and long, I just wanted to touch base with you all again.
Thank you all for your wonderful support. I am so glad you were here when I needed you. I wish you and your loved ones well.
Very best wishes,
Soozieann
x
I haven't been on this site for a while, but thought I'd like to let you all know that my mother aged 92,passed away on 13th March.
It was the end of a painful and exhausting part of our lives together. I cannot say I am sorry because we both needed to move on with our lives, but I do miss the mum I used to have but lost to this dreadful dementia. I just pray she is happy and at peace and her real self now, wherever she is in the universe.
Mum had been in residential care for three weeks and was begining to settle in. When I saw her on the third week, she was suffering from yet another bout of UTI and conjunctavitus. Because she could not see well, she thought the whole world was going blind and worried especially about my son and how he would cope. It was very distressing and I tried to convince her that this wasn't so, but she had an eye infection and wasn't very well. She slept most of the time I was there and said she wasn't tired but was weary. It was then I knew that her time with us was running out and she wanted to be somewhere else.
She went into a hypoglyceamic coma on the Sunday and was admitted to hospital. On the Thursday I finally convinced the doctor that to give her glucose was cruel as she was ready to pass away, and this was prolonging the agony for all of us. She agreed and Mum passed away the following Monday. It was amazing she didn't go before, I suppose she just needed to wind down in her own time.
I was with her when she passed away. Due to the shortage of beds, Mum was in the strokes unit, which was such a blessing as they gave her a room on her own and waived visiting hours for me. This was such a benefit for us as I could sit with her and chant for her [ I am a Buddhist] as I held her hand.
I have to tell you that it was a privilege and a very special thing to be with her as she left this life. It was very peaceful, just a little pain at the very end that lasted a second and she was gone. She had been unconcsious for a week almost.
When I was visiting her the week before she died, she could hardly talk or move. I sat and held her hands, which squeezed mine strongly. She finally said [in a voice that was very deep and strange] that she had to get to the blue colour, line or light - I couldn't really make out which except for the word blue. I wonder if she could see something I couldn't. Has anyone else got any experiences of what the dying may see or experience as they pass from this life?
Her funeral went amazingly well, we really gave her a good send off with as many of our family that could come. The ceremony was very beautiful and the vicar who conducted it [a woman named Sarah] was wonderful. I managed to read something about the eternity of life, before my voice broke up in tears.
We gathered back at my house which was full of her favourite flowers- daffodils. We had photos of Mum up and opened bottles of champagne to drink a toast to a marvellous lady. Later we had fireworks, and when the rocket soared up, I really felt as if her life was free again.
Many people didn't send flowers, but wanted to know what charity to send money to- I suggested the Alzheimer's Society. I really hope that awareness is raised with the TV programmes that were on recently. I didn't see any of them, it was just too soon for me to handle, but I hope as Tony Robinson had the courage to make the programme about his mother, that the Government really looks at the way elderly people are treated in this country, and how many hoops we all have to jump through in order to give them what they need and deserve.
Sorry, this message seems very jumbled and long, I just wanted to touch base with you all again.
Thank you all for your wonderful support. I am so glad you were here when I needed you. I wish you and your loved ones well.
Very best wishes,
Soozieann
x
