• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Mum on the Move

Laylabud

Registered User
Sep 7, 2007
111
Kent
Well finally after just over 10 months in the hospital ward Mum is on the move on Monday into an EMI nursing home and i am dreading it. She is settled where she is and i am so afraid that she will become aggressive once she is moved, she came home last year after 5 weeks of being in hospital only to after 4 days of being back home become unsettled and hitting out which i bore the brunt of to the point where i could not cope with it and had to get her into an emergency 72 hour placement home, during her time there she became more aggressive, kicking me, scratching the carer's, throwing plant pots, over turning tables. Nobody could get near her to wash her, change her clothes and by the end of the week she was out of control and had to be sectioned under section 2 and ended back in hospital where she has been ever since. As soon as she got back in there she was as calm as anything although she hated me at that time.
Why do they have to move people on that have this illness it is so cruel to make them go through this!
Anyway i have my crash helmet and protective clothing ready:)

Good Luck to anybody in the same position,it is going to be very difficult few days/weeks ahead.

Best Wishes
Laylabud
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
Suffolk,England
Layla

The big difference this time is that it WON'T be you taking the brunt of her aggression following the 'release' (literal & metaphorical) from hospital. Hopefully this time her medication is correctly balanced and effective and will continue to be so in the EMI unit.

A home environment is an undisciplined place (at least, mine is!) where your Mum is, quite naturally, the focus of attention and possibly a bit of spoiling? In hospital, Mum will have become accustomed to routine & will probably have learned (at a subconscious level) that co-operation makes life more pleasant. She will be going to a similar place & routine, where the staff are used to dealing with people who are difficult at first, until they settle.

Take a deep breath Layla, and LOOK AT the present situation.
It is very different to the previous one, where YOU were expected to deal with Mum - so far as I can see without adequate support - at home (her home? where she felt 'in charge' again?)
Now take another deep breath; believe it'll work, because it probably will and you don't have to do it all yourself this time.

Best wishes
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,405
Kent
Good luck Layla.

Take Lynne`s advice.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Please let us know how it goes. You might be pleasantly surprised. :)
 

Laylabud

Registered User
Sep 7, 2007
111
Kent
Well nearly 4 days after Mum's move she has coped fairly well and not to many unsettled moments, although she has thrown her breakfast all over the floor this morning, which she has never done before. I have been very worried this week about the whole move and have been to see her every night after work to make sure she is ok. She really does not talk much these days but she is very mobile, there is one other lady who walks around a lot who is talks a lot who has befriended Mum nad is walking around with her holding hands, so hopefully once Mum gets use to her maybe she might start to talk a little more.

Anyway i have been given an end of life letter to fill in, which nobody wants to think about. I am sure many of you have been in situations where there are more than one sibling, if neither agree with CPR what position does this put the home in, who's wishes do they adhere to?
Any comments/advice would be apreciated.

Best Regards