Mum is under a 117 after care. She has always had mental health issues but 20 months ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and 15 months ago she entered a residential care home. She is not an acute case yet, but the care team who know my mum well , felt that being at home was not right for her.
My mum constantly talks about going home, last year before Xmas she became distressed and ended up being re-admitted into hospital into a psychiatric ward. She then went back to her care home and is fine, still talking about home but generally calm and happy.
A few weeks ago she wrote a letter to a solicitor – I don’t know what was in that letter, but i’d imagine she is angling for them to help her to get home. I rang the solicitors and told them I have a registered EPA for mums legal and financial affairs, gave them a general picture, as they are not the firm who have dealt with my mum’s affairs in recent years – they know nothing of her background.
The solicitor has since written to the care home saying they will be visiting next week. They say if my mum is able to write a letter, then she has some form of capacity. I found out about this late Friday afternoon, so not able to ring my own solicitor yet.
I live 7 hours travelling time away from my mum – plane and train required. I am not clear what this solicitor is hoping to ascertain or do. I just don’t want them to start a chain of events that is going to cause my mum anxiety. I know the home is the best place for her – she is well looked after. She has underlying health issues – COPD and suffers from chest infections – she smokes. These can turn nasty, in 2015 while in hospital she got pneumonia. The home are great at being on top of anything in her day to day health. I would worry about her living a solitary life with just meals on wheels and a few hours of home help.
A few questions:-
1) Under what legal grounds are these solicitors visiting? I don’t want to deny my mother her rights, but I am concerned by potential upset and anxiety it may trigger, let alone cost. I dont think my mother is saying she is being abused. She may be saying she wants to change her will as a pretext to a conversation about going home.
2) What can I do? I am her only relative. By the way, I have rented out her home as it was the best option in terms of its general care – so mum going home isn’t on the cards in the short term.
3) Can I ask someone to sit in on the discussion as my proxy, given I am responsible for her legal and financial affairs?
Any advice would be welcome.
Mimi
My mum constantly talks about going home, last year before Xmas she became distressed and ended up being re-admitted into hospital into a psychiatric ward. She then went back to her care home and is fine, still talking about home but generally calm and happy.
A few weeks ago she wrote a letter to a solicitor – I don’t know what was in that letter, but i’d imagine she is angling for them to help her to get home. I rang the solicitors and told them I have a registered EPA for mums legal and financial affairs, gave them a general picture, as they are not the firm who have dealt with my mum’s affairs in recent years – they know nothing of her background.
The solicitor has since written to the care home saying they will be visiting next week. They say if my mum is able to write a letter, then she has some form of capacity. I found out about this late Friday afternoon, so not able to ring my own solicitor yet.
I live 7 hours travelling time away from my mum – plane and train required. I am not clear what this solicitor is hoping to ascertain or do. I just don’t want them to start a chain of events that is going to cause my mum anxiety. I know the home is the best place for her – she is well looked after. She has underlying health issues – COPD and suffers from chest infections – she smokes. These can turn nasty, in 2015 while in hospital she got pneumonia. The home are great at being on top of anything in her day to day health. I would worry about her living a solitary life with just meals on wheels and a few hours of home help.
A few questions:-
1) Under what legal grounds are these solicitors visiting? I don’t want to deny my mother her rights, but I am concerned by potential upset and anxiety it may trigger, let alone cost. I dont think my mother is saying she is being abused. She may be saying she wants to change her will as a pretext to a conversation about going home.
2) What can I do? I am her only relative. By the way, I have rented out her home as it was the best option in terms of its general care – so mum going home isn’t on the cards in the short term.
3) Can I ask someone to sit in on the discussion as my proxy, given I am responsible for her legal and financial affairs?
Any advice would be welcome.
Mimi
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