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Mum now "to be made comfortable/no further treatment" is this the end?

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by LeedsLass, May 21, 2015.

  1. LeedsLass

    LeedsLass Registered User

    Oct 13, 2014
    107
    Essex
    We made an appointment to see the nursing home doctor at her surgery last Friday and asked for an update and what to expect from now onwards. We also said we didn't want anything that would prolong her life. The doctor was extremely sympathetic and helpful and has placed her on immediate fast track. Dad had a call from the home yesterday to say that she is now just to be made comfortable following the doctor's visit. They won't try and persuade her to eat if she doesn't want anything and seem to be checking her more regularly. Is this doctor speak for they think she will pass away soon or could it still be months? I know no one can predict these things and I'm sure we will be told if they think it is imminent. Such mixed emotions as I know you all have with this terrible disease.


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  2. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,495
    Female
    England
    I am so sorry you are facing this. I was in the same position this time last year but against all odds my husband pulled through. It is such a roller coaster of a ride.

    I send my very best wishes to you and Mum.
     
  3. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    It must be such a difficult time for you Leedslass, I am sorry. I don't have personal experience of this stage, but I'm bumping this for you as there will be many who sadly, do have. Take care xxx
     
  4. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,604
    West Midlands
    Hoping your mum is having all the care she needs and you are getting all the support you need xxxxxx


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  5. Jackie3

    Jackie3 Registered User

    Nov 27, 2012
    14
    Oldham
    We were told by a hospital consultant in February 2014 that my mum had only weeks or maybe months to live and that there was nothing that could be done for her apart from make her comfortable. She returned to the nursing home for 'end of life care'. 15 months later she is still with us. I refused to accept this 'end of life care'. My mum accepted food and drink so the family ensures she always has extra food and drink. She progressed from liquids only to purees and now she eats normally. She has late stage dementia and has not been out of bed since February 2014. My dad visits every day to 'feed' her and 'chat' as best he can to her and she does respond. The doctors are not always right so don't always accept what they say.
     
  6. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    My husband was put on "end of life" care several times last year but I knew it was what it said in January when end of life care was no more fluids or food - he choked - I just moistened his lips every few minutes with sponges. He was also on a driver of morphine for pain and madazolam for agitation and he slowly slipped away peacefully. I stayed with him for five days in the NH and did what I could to keep him as comfortable as possible with the help of the Carers and Nurses but knew he was at the end of his life within a short time. Everyone is different and no-one can really say when it will happen. Just a case of keeping your loved one as comfortable, pain and agitation free as possible. Loving thoughts for you and your family - it is a very sad time WIFE
     
  7. LeedsLass

    LeedsLass Registered User

    Oct 13, 2014
    107
    Essex
    Thank you all for taking the time to reply, there's just no set pattern and every case is different. Mum is losing weight every week and becoming more withdrawn. Feel for my dad more than anything. I wish for a peaceful release from this for us all soon. Best wishes to you all out there x


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