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Mum now "to be made comfortable/no further treatment" is this the end?

LeedsLass

Registered User
Oct 13, 2014
107
Essex
We made an appointment to see the nursing home doctor at her surgery last Friday and asked for an update and what to expect from now onwards. We also said we didn't want anything that would prolong her life. The doctor was extremely sympathetic and helpful and has placed her on immediate fast track. Dad had a call from the home yesterday to say that she is now just to be made comfortable following the doctor's visit. They won't try and persuade her to eat if she doesn't want anything and seem to be checking her more regularly. Is this doctor speak for they think she will pass away soon or could it still be months? I know no one can predict these things and I'm sure we will be told if they think it is imminent. Such mixed emotions as I know you all have with this terrible disease.


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jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
12,914
England
I am so sorry you are facing this. I was in the same position this time last year but against all odds my husband pulled through. It is such a roller coaster of a ride.

I send my very best wishes to you and Mum.
 

Dazmum

Registered User
Jul 10, 2011
10,314
Horsham, West Sussex
It must be such a difficult time for you Leedslass, I am sorry. I don't have personal experience of this stage, but I'm bumping this for you as there will be many who sadly, do have. Take care xxx
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
Hoping your mum is having all the care she needs and you are getting all the support you need xxxxxx


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Jackie3

Registered User
Nov 27, 2012
14
Oldham
We made an appointment to see the nursing home doctor at her surgery last Friday and asked for an update and what to expect from now onwards. We also said we didn't want anything that would prolong her life. The doctor was extremely sympathetic and helpful and has placed her on immediate fast track. Dad had a call from the home yesterday to say that she is now just to be made comfortable following the doctor's visit. They won't try and persuade her to eat if she doesn't want anything and seem to be checking her more regularly. Is this doctor speak for they think she will pass away soon or could it still be months? I know no one can predict these things and I'm sure we will be told if they think it is imminent. Such mixed emotions as I know you all have with this terrible disease.


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We were told by a hospital consultant in February 2014 that my mum had only weeks or maybe months to live and that there was nothing that could be done for her apart from make her comfortable. She returned to the nursing home for 'end of life care'. 15 months later she is still with us. I refused to accept this 'end of life care'. My mum accepted food and drink so the family ensures she always has extra food and drink. She progressed from liquids only to purees and now she eats normally. She has late stage dementia and has not been out of bed since February 2014. My dad visits every day to 'feed' her and 'chat' as best he can to her and she does respond. The doctors are not always right so don't always accept what they say.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
My husband was put on "end of life" care several times last year but I knew it was what it said in January when end of life care was no more fluids or food - he choked - I just moistened his lips every few minutes with sponges. He was also on a driver of morphine for pain and madazolam for agitation and he slowly slipped away peacefully. I stayed with him for five days in the NH and did what I could to keep him as comfortable as possible with the help of the Carers and Nurses but knew he was at the end of his life within a short time. Everyone is different and no-one can really say when it will happen. Just a case of keeping your loved one as comfortable, pain and agitation free as possible. Loving thoughts for you and your family - it is a very sad time WIFE
 

LeedsLass

Registered User
Oct 13, 2014
107
Essex
Thank you all for taking the time to reply, there's just no set pattern and every case is different. Mum is losing weight every week and becoming more withdrawn. Feel for my dad more than anything. I wish for a peaceful release from this for us all soon. Best wishes to you all out there x


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