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    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

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mum now bedridden

catbells

Registered User
Jun 14, 2010
384
Cambridgeshire
Wrote pre christmas mum had a stage two pressure ulcer was very poorly but with excellent care the ulcer is healing however maybe as a result of the infection has become so very very tired and despite us trying to guage whats happening trying to keep her socialing getting her up 3times a day then twice and then once a day using a cradle hoist it has all become too much for her she has a hospital pressurised mattress air flowing thro etc to lessen more pressure soes she is still moved every two hours. She no longer holds my hand there is no strength i hold hers. I cant hug and cuddle her as i used to she just lies eyes rolling and her breathing is laboured. She is still eating her pureed meals and accepting the thicken drinks. Each day i think could be our last but im told she could go on for sometime yet.i am like a piece of elastic getting tighter a nd tighter waiting for her release from this poor quality of life.she is not screaming in pain. She is calm and comfortable and can still raise a very week smile. There is a lot to be thankful for but Im so very distressed again .sorry i just have to share my feelings and i know many of you can relate to this for which im gratefil to TP for this forum thanks xxxx
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
So sorry to read your thread catbells, hope you find the strength from somewhere to carry on.
 

catbells

Registered User
Jun 14, 2010
384
Cambridgeshire
So sorry to read your thread catbells, hope you find the strength from somewhere to carry on.
Thank you Tin. As always i find the strength to carry on we have no option. I crumble then bounce back only to crumble again. Its been going on for years. Its the yoyo effect but its not always about me its about mum but its witnessing and taking on responsibility we are the voice for or loved ones.there is no two way discussion which makes it harder. I am also her only child. I visit daily being proactive inher care feeding her at lunch time. Xxxheather
 

Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
British Isles
Dear Heather it's good to read that your mum is calm and comfortable, she is so lucky to have the loving care of a daughter visiting every day to make sure that her quality of life is as good as it can be.

It must be so hard for you to listen to her laboured breathing. I hope you are managing to find something nice to do when you are not visiting to try to distract yourself from your poor mum's situation - even if it is just having a little walk somewhere to look at the spring flowers blooming, or enjoy the beauty of a sunset. Please take care of yourself
 

catbells

Registered User
Jun 14, 2010
384
Cambridgeshire
Thank you gigglemore
I fill my time well.i do archery,tai chi,read,do wasjigs (buildng jigsaw puzzles but its not the picture on the box. Im addicted to them since my grandson gave me one 4yrs ago.since theni have done nearly 50,including 6 since christmas. I enjoy t he garden too and throw myself into the housework once a week.my mind has been panic mode for years but now as the end if her life is drawing near i dont waste a minute.my hubby and i have just had a lovely week in our favourite retreat the lakes.this is where i draw alot of stength.its very hard to come away and double hard to return. I survive another day and look foward to the spring new life in the gardens and anew life awaits me once mum has gone what will i do without her.thank you for your time xheather
 

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