Hi I'm fairly new to this forum and I wondered if anyone has had experience of this? Mum is 93 and diagnosed with dementia. It's got a lot worse recently and she now doesn't recognise dad (aged 95) or even me some days. They share a room in a care home and I visit most days.
She now asks me why she has to share a room with this man and she doesn't understand why he has a bed in 'her' room. Some days she remembers and calls him by his name and seems perfectly fine. The staff take him away in the afternoons to sit with the other residents, which he enjoys. Mum won't be moved out of the room if she can help it and dislikes being with the other people in the home. It's a good job Dad is very deaf as he doesn't realise what is going on. If he heard what she was saying he'd be really upset.
On bad days, she insists she doesn't know him, despite being married for 63 years, and if I try to explain she says 'oh well lets change the subject I don't want to talk about him'. Other days she will have a conversation with him and is surprised when she finds out he's from the same town as she is.
Finances won't allow to pay for two rooms. I'm unsure really what to say to her, whether to keep explaining who he is, or just to gloss over it as much as I can and try to distract her. Dad enjoys being with her, and is still trying to look out for her even though he is ill himself.
Has anyone had any similar experiences? Grateful for your thoughts.
She now asks me why she has to share a room with this man and she doesn't understand why he has a bed in 'her' room. Some days she remembers and calls him by his name and seems perfectly fine. The staff take him away in the afternoons to sit with the other residents, which he enjoys. Mum won't be moved out of the room if she can help it and dislikes being with the other people in the home. It's a good job Dad is very deaf as he doesn't realise what is going on. If he heard what she was saying he'd be really upset.
On bad days, she insists she doesn't know him, despite being married for 63 years, and if I try to explain she says 'oh well lets change the subject I don't want to talk about him'. Other days she will have a conversation with him and is surprised when she finds out he's from the same town as she is.
Finances won't allow to pay for two rooms. I'm unsure really what to say to her, whether to keep explaining who he is, or just to gloss over it as much as I can and try to distract her. Dad enjoys being with her, and is still trying to look out for her even though he is ill himself.
Has anyone had any similar experiences? Grateful for your thoughts.