When you go with your mother to see the skin specialist, someone has to push the wheelchair into the room. Make sure it is you then just sit back unobtrusively somewhere your mum cannot see you and let it go from there. Do either you or your brother hold LPA for Health and Welfare, if you don't then announce yourself as the daughter/next of kin.I guess it’s hopeless? I will speak someone when I go with Mum on Wednesday to the skin clinic at the hospital and I’m going to buy the wheelchair with my own money. I ‘m not allowed to go in with mum when she sees the skin specialist. She likes me to wait outside. My job is to drive her there and back to her home.
If the skin specialist is worth his/her salt they will see how unkempt and uncared for your mum is and this may trigger a safeguarding issue. Adults are allowed to be dirty and unkempt but a dirty 96 year old dementia patient presenting with skin issues on her face is not something to be ignored.
A report is always sent to the GP and I always had a copy of the reports that were sent to dads GP The report is just an outline of what happened at the consultation but all of dads reports described how he presented. A pleasant gentleman, well dressed and whether he had lost/gained weight and how his general health was.
It is very important that they see your mum in her everyday state, however dirty or smelly she is.