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Mum nearing the end but CH on lockdown

bdmid

Registered User
Dec 4, 2013
36
69
Bristol
It’s a long time since I’ve posted on here, since Mum went into a wonderful care home it’s just over 4 years now she’s almost 96 with VD. She’s gradually declined over the last year and have had 3 or 4 times when we were told this was it, but she kept us on our toes by rallying each time. The last time mum was put on end of life care, that was last August. My brother and I visited 2/3 times a week each so she always had someone with her every day. We've realised of late that she didn’t really know who we were but was happy for us to sit with her. The home went into lockdown just under 3 weeks ago, the staff who are brilliant have been keeping us in touch. The manager phoned last week to say mum was refusing food and drinking very little. Yesterday I had the call to say she was very weak now, and most likely shutting down, they were going to continue trying to get fluids into her. I don’t know if she would have been able to understand that nobody’s was visiting and she been abandoned. The Doctor’s seen her today and confirmed she likely won’t last the week. I’m distraught not being able to see her or hold her hand, to tell her that I love her and just be with her when she passes on her final journey. I completely understand the safety aspects but it’s so hard to have come all this way with mum but not be able to be with her in her final moments. Apologies for the long post
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,824
69
Dundee
No apologies needed @bdmid.

I'm sorry to read your update and wish you strength at this most difficult and sad time.
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,812
It is the saddest thing, my husband had suspected Corvid the pain I felt at not being there for him was tremendous. It is so hard for you.
So much is out of our hands at the moment, look after yourself at this time. X
 

bdmid

Registered User
Dec 4, 2013
36
69
Bristol
Thank you all so much, even though I’ve not posted for sometime now I log onto the forum regularly because everyone on here understands and you don’t feel alone, there is always good advice that helps.
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,707
leicester
@bdmid I’m glad you find the forum supportive at this very difficult time please keep posting so we can support you..
wishing you strength for the coming days
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
185
We will be thinking of you. A very difficult time but you can take some comfort from the fact that she is in a wonderful care home and the staff will be looking after her on your behalf.
 

Tickival

Registered User
Jul 20, 2016
4
I am in a similar position as you, although my husbands care home will let me go into see him, which I have, it was very scary as I am in the high risk group and should be isolating. I am so sad that I might not see him again and that he might die alone. My thought are with everybody who is going through this, and send much love to you.
 

bdmid

Registered User
Dec 4, 2013
36
69
Bristol
The care home called today mums very weak now, they’ve tried to get fluids into her over the last 48 hours but she would not take anything. They have now administered end of life meds. They have promised someone will be with her until the end, as upsetting as it is, it was very touching the staff nurse was crying as well. Mum was a big character and had formed strong bonds with them so I found that comforting. I don’t know how long this is going to take so now we must just wait.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,216
South coast
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I hope it is not long drawn out
 

bdmid

Registered User
Dec 4, 2013
36
69
Bristol
Thank you all for being so caring and being supportive of everyone who posts on the forum. Mum passed away peacefully in the early hours of this morning. I know she’s now in a better place, but I don’t think it will sink in properly until I see her in the chapel of rest which I’m told won’t be until next week at the earliest, it’s also going to be a quite sometime for her funeral because of this awful virus situation. I just feel a bit numb at the present everything seems suspended in the air.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,216
South coast
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Im so sorry for your loss.