I posted before Christmas that my mum had a memory clinic assessment and was told very bluntly she has indications of start Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. I panicked agreed with her to put her house on the market so she could move near me and she has been living with me since then. With decent food and heating after treatment for a uti she is pretty well back to normal. Although thin and being tested for weight loss issues she was keeping herself to a vegan calorie controlled diet, 1 month of normal food with us and she has put weight on. Despite having offers to buy the house she hasn’t accepted them. She has turned down several properties near me and apparently wanted to buy a big new house similar to mine- 3 storey semi mock cottage. Sounds big but actually all rooms already occupied by myself, husband and son. Smallest bedroom is my office so I have to turf her out to work. The last month has been awful as relationships with her and my husband have become very tense. I feel torn between the two all the time. I thought my oh was making it up but I have seen her smirking when she causes an argument between us. She now has been offered a flat at a retirement complex 10 minutes from us. The complex is lovely, manager is absolutely great but the flat is very small. She initially said “I will think about it” but has accepted as I was very upset and husband had said take her back to own home if she turns it down. I really don’t know what to do and feel I can’t win. If she goes home husband says it might be a safeguarding issue (mental health nurse has assessed her safe to live alone and said she would contest that) and I would be at fault but he doesn’t want her to live with us. I don’t think she really wants to move unless to her dream country cottage but realised the retirement home is safer, can make friends own age and socialise . I just feel so guilty, if I hadn’t panicked she would probably have gone back home, we could have put new heating in but she would be 1 hour drive and dependant on neighbours which if they move would not be good. I just keep going round in circles and to add to it my health isn’t great as had suspect heart attack last year and feel I’m going the same way now. Sorry for the miss.