From my earlier posts you will know that my Mum has vascular dementia and we have been trying to find her some peace. First in sheltered housing but last week we were told she had to go into temporary respite care because the staff at the sheltered housing accommodation couldn't cope with her. Now the staff at the care home have also reported that she is almost constantly agitated and distressed so the medical people have decided to admit her to the local psychiatric hospital, where they can monitor her behavior and hopefully get her medication right. I've done everything to keep her out of hospital and even now I still don't know if this is the right thing. Maybe that's because I dread going to see her in that place. My heart is breaking thinking about it so I don't know how I'll cope if she's in there any length of time. I don't know how long she'll be there or how she will survive it. She hated the ward the last time she was there and that was only 3 days when she had a urine infection. Now she is much worse than before and maybe it is the best place for her. Maybe they can sort out her medication to stop her agitation, although nothing they have tried before has worked. The CPN has advised me not to be present when she is transferred because it may cause Mum more distress if she sees me and wants me to take her home. And the hospital have suggested not visiting until tomorrow. She isn't there yet and may not be until this evening. Trouble is I feel guilty as hell. It's as if I'm abandoning her but I feel their advice is right. Am I being selfish? Does anyone have any advice how I cope with this? I'll find it difficult to hold back the tears when I visit if she is distressed.