After many months/years of constant worry about mum and dad's ability to cope I moved mum into a lovely care home when a space came up.(mum has moderate to severe dementia) We had waited several months for a room when they rang me to say they had a room free. I felt so positive about the move as I felt mum would finally get the care she needs and it was close to me so I could visit regularly. Dad had been begging me to do 'something' for months as he could no longer cope with mum and mum had rung me in desperation to say dad had pushed her and she fell to the floor and banged her head. Dad kept saying 'it's time' now, meaning he couldn't carry on caring. He also has dementia and lots of other medical issues. There had been a few minor incidents before but these were getting more and more serious. THe main triggers for mum having delusions were that the carer's were overly friendly with dad and mum often felt left out and rejected. They would giggle with dad in the kitchen and give him hugs and this would upset mum.Plus there was verbal and physical abuse from dad towards mum. And mum nagged dad most of the time about the carer's and dad reacted to it every time in a very negative way. So 4 nights later mum has settled remarkably well into the care home and cannot fault a thing. She seems more relaxed and is definitely getting the care she needs. The problems is dad is utterly distraught and wants her back. I arranged for them to both go for lunch today and dad kept saying things like 'when you come home' and getting her muddled. he wants to visit often but I am trying to let mum settle in and I think dad will just confuse her and remind her of what she has left behind. Mum is making friends in the home and is chatting away whereas at home with dad she never really had anyone except dad and was so lonely. I don't know how to manage dad's feelings, and I don't know what is best for mum regards visiting. Dad is desperate for mum to come home but when she went for respite previously within 2 hours they were arguing and dad was flipping out. So I know it won't work bringing mum home. But I feel so awful for dad it's like mum has died to him. Can anyone advise what they would do please? A worried daughter.