Hi, I live in Kent, commute 5 days a week into London, and my mum is in Devon, and I did visit every other month, but I have not been to visit since Jan. The reason because "I just cant!" To me my mum has already died, the 'shell' that I visit does not know who I am, and all my feelings and emotions are shut down, the thought of driving 5 hours just to get there and then another 5 hours to get home fills me with dread..... Perhaps if I was single and did not have my own family then things may be different and I may have moved to Devon, why do not move Mum close to me she has a freind that sees her everyday and the home is fantastic.......... Everyday she is in my thoughts, everyday I check this site for new information to try and help in any other way, everyday the fact that I can not force myself to visit her at the moment is on my conscience. 24/7 she is in my thoughts but as selfish as it may seem I NEED TIME FOR ME & MY LIFE TOO .......... I know I will visit her soon, but just not yet!