Mum just diagnosed

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Anxious A, May 10, 2018.

  1. Anxious A

    Anxious A New member

    May 10, 2018
    1
    Hi just started on this journey mum was given diagnosis of Alzheimer's in February but we have only just found out as brother kept info from us. We are trying to work way through minefield of info and what to do expect. She has been having loads of falls so was admitted to hospital they have sent her to interim care home for 6 weeks , she is in week 2. DIST come to see her once a week and she had neuro appoint. that upset her a lot she denied having it then day after phoned me saying I did this to her and I'm stealing her things and leaving her in care home. very distressing for all concerned. have been given forms from care home regarding her wishes to fill in and told to research and think about power of attorney , how do we do this without upsetting her again, it's breaking my heart . I have numerous immune disorders and terminal illnesses so understand the whole denial, grief , acceptance thing but just feeling lost.what do we do in what order.info from home ,drs and dist are all over place .
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    2,348
    Male
    N Ireland
  3. DeMartin

    DeMartin Registered User

    Jul 4, 2017
    653
    Kent
    Power of Attorney.......government web site gives all details and you can download forms. Lots of posts here on how to get it signed and relevant witnesses.
    Her claims that “you are stealing all her money “ “it’s all your fault” are regrettably all too common, PWD lash out at those nearest to them, it hurts very much, many of us posters have been accused, remember it’s not your mum, it’s a disease that has altered her thinking.
    Browse the postings, many of us have been/are in your situation.
     
  4. Hazara8

    Hazara8 Registered User

    Apr 6, 2015
    353
    Take one step at a time if you can possibly do so. Arranging Power of Attorney is important whilst the person concerned has capacity. but one appreciates the delicacy of all this. The Care Home should assist you in much of this (Care Plans etc) and it is important to gain constant feedback from them. Alzheimer's creates hateful problems stemming from the pure nature of the disease. The manner in which it takes hold of your loved one and hits you so very hard with regard to the behaviour levelled at you, always very hurtful initially, until one gains perspective on the disease and understands what is 'meant' and what is an 'expression' of feelings or anxiety and so on. Clearly, you must take good care of yourself and not allow that to be compromised. This whole journey into caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's, the assessments, the memory teams, the Care Home regime and all the rest of it, is so very demanding and so often comes as a shock to the system( even professional medical folk often find themselves genuinely at a loss, owing to the sheer unpredictable nature of this disease). It is well worth exploring TP in order to locate specific areas of concern. So many here have trodden the dementia path and can provide really valuable insights along with practicable advice. Try not to let things overwhelm you. Easy words, I know, but evolving out of personal knowledge. Day-to-day is both prudent and in actual fact, unavoidable. Albeit that reality gets clouded from time to time, by events and one's vulnerability to distress.
     

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