Mum just diagnosed help

[Dreamdogs]

My mum has just been told she has alzheimers I knew for over a year this was what she had but all the doctors said it was a mental breakdown until last week when they told us. I thought as I knew I would be OK but it's hit me so hard I can't stop crying I am finding it so hard to go on. I live with my mum I have been her carer for some years due to other health problems I can't talk to her as it will make her unwell I only have my dad and brother who don't understand and I get no help from them. I am all alone I have no friends just me and our dog. How do I keep going i know I have to make the most of out time but I can't so scared please any advice how I can stop feeling this way and look after my mum.

 

[jennifer1967]

My mum has just been told she has alzheimers I knew for over a year this was what she had but all the doctors said it was a mental breakdown until last week when they told us. I thought as I knew I would be OK but it's hit me so hard I can't stop crying I am finding it so hard to go on. I live with my mum I have been her carer for some years due to other health problems I can't talk to her as it will make her unwell I only have my dad and brother who don't understand and I get no help from them. I am all alone I have no friends just me and our dog. How do I keep going i know I have to make the most of out time but I can't so scared please any advice how I can stop feeling this way and look after my mum.

take one day at a time rather than coping with the whole thing. even a morning then an afternoon. or minute by minute so it doesnt overwhelm you.

 

[Grannie G]

You`ll get a lot of support here @Dreamdogs and I`m glad you`ve found the site.

You`re in shock now, even if you have been thinking the worst and you need time for yourself as well as your mum.

As @jennifer1967 suggested, take a deep breath and allow yourself some space. Nothing is going to change overnight.

Continue to post here. It will help you feel less isolated if you can communicate with people who understand how you are feeling.

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @Dreamdogs

It can feel terribly lonely looking after someone with dementia but there are lots of us out here who can help you along, and give advice and support. Whatever you find yourself facing, there will be someone on Talking Point who has either been through it or is going through it alongside you.

As already mentioned, it really is best to take things a step at a time. Don’t assume everything you read about will happen to your mum. The link below might have some useful tips for you. Keep posting to let us know how things are going, or just to tell us how you are feeling. People here really do understand, so don’t feel lonely.

Feelings after a diagnosis and as dementia progresses

After someone is diagnosed with dementia and as it progresses, they and the people close to them may have many different feelings, such as guilt, loss and grief.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[CAL Y]

Hello @Dreamdogs . I quite agree with others that you need to take it slowly.
When my husband was diagnosed I went into “panic” mode, thinking that I had to organise everything immediately.
Within a month I was burnt out and my sister had to come to stay and look after the pair of us.
You need to give yourself time to adjust to the news . It is overwhelming but try to take some time for yourself. I know that’s easier said than done but I learned to change my mindset and even if it was just filing my nails when he was asleep this became my moments of respite.
wishing you strength. You will find plenty of advice on here.