Mum just been diagnosed with alzsimers

Discussion in 'Recently diagnosed and early stages of dementia' started by Mollymayson, Jan 18, 2016.

  1. Mollymayson

    Mollymayson Registered User

    Jan 16, 2016
    5
    Hi I'm new to this site and very grateful I have found it, my mum is in a wheel chair and has been disabled for around 5 years back problems, my dad has always cared for her they live in a mobile home about 30 miles from me, but I always visited them at least 1 time a week, but in the last few months we have noticed my mum getting very forgetful, and also have noticed my dad really strugling, as he had 3 falls of which I didn't know about until their neighbors told me, also my mum was taking pain killers willy Nilly, and dad was just giving her pills when she asked for them.
    Basically they have been staying with us since xmas, have taken them to see doc. And doc said they can no longer live on there own.
    My mum had a brain scan done and we got results back 2 weeks ago and sadly very sadly she has alzsimers my mum and I are very close and she is my best friend, and I know it's going to be tough but I have always said I won't put my parents in a home unless it was for there own benefit and own safety.
    We have social services coming this Thursday to see where we go from here.
    We live (my husband and I) in a 2 bed small bungalow and wondered if we could have an annexe built on, if any one has done this or been in the same position as me please can you drop a line to me as I am very emotional, scared, and feel like I'm losing my mum everyday a little bit at a time, I cry a lot, but have to be strong for my dad as he is very sad to, do you think I would be able to care for them, and does any one know where we go from here like if we are entitled to any help from the government like a grant to get this annexe done or any other help for them, we only have one bathroom and 2 beds, it's hard I will be very grateful for any advice thanks.
    Kind regards
    Tracey x
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,349
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP :)

    I don't know of any grants but hopefully someone will post.
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,908
    Female
    Scotland
    You will get past the crying stage when the practicalities of life take over. Looking after two disabled parents will require you to be very practical indeed. Given your circumstances I would suggest that a care home which would allow them to be together is the answer. You would then be in a position to be their best friend and look after their best interests without the stress of altering your home.

    You need to contact elderly care social services at your local council and ask for an assessment for your parents. Don't put this off as it takes time to organise and better to get it under way as soon as possible. Emphasise the urgency of the situation when you contact the SS.
     
  4. Mollymayson

    Mollymayson Registered User

    Jan 16, 2016
    5
    Thank you for your understanding x
     
  5. Mollymayson

    Mollymayson Registered User

    Jan 16, 2016
    5
    Thank you I am looking into all possibilities really appreciate your advice take care x
     
  6. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,094
    Yorkshire
    Hi Mollymayson
    there's a lot going on in your family life right now - take things steadily and you will find your way through
    I'm afraid I know nothing about grants either.
    I do agree that contacting Adult Care is a good move - I hope the meeting yesterday went well and you were given lots of information - do let us know
    Ask for a carer's assessment for yourself too
    And look into Attendance Allowance - which continues if your mum does move into a care home - and Carer's Allowance for you
    Contact your LA too as if your mum stays with you there may be a qualification for reduction of Council Tax
    best wishes to you all
     

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