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Mum is wandering and confused if I'm not around

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by rs84, Sep 3, 2017.

  1. rs84

    rs84 Registered User

    Jul 2, 2017
    Hi all,
    Long story short, my mum was admitted to hospital at the beginning of July as she was very agitated and confused. Doc's suspect she has dementia, but the official diagnosis was delirium superimposed on dementia.

    They sent her home a few weeks ago with a failed CHC assessment and an increased care package of one extra half an hour call in the evening for bedtime.

    She has wandered out of the house at 4am and started knocking on the neighbours door!

    A few days later she was seen by neighbours wandering outside the house. One of them was so concerned she said she was going to call the police. Luckily I returned from work just in time.

    I decided to stop attending work as I didn't want a repeat of these incidents. I get home at 8:45pm. She is still very restless and agitated around the house and doesn't sleep much!

    I haven't reported this to Social Services, as I am very worried that they might consider putting her in a care home. However, I have been told by the supervisor of the care aid agency that supplies the carers that this is extremely unlikely. We are also waiting for a hospital bed to be installed at home so my mum can't wander as much and also doesn't fall. (she falls out of bed almost everyday)

    What should I do? Should I report this to Social Services? I really want to get back to work and get some sanity back in my life as I cannot cope anymore.

    Please give me some advice as I am really tempted to just call them but worried about the consequences.
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    You need to keep your mother safe, so it's really imperative that you call social services. Ask for a carers assessment for yourself too. They have a duty of care to vulnerable adults at risk, and wandering is a huge risk. You'd never forgive yourself if something happened to her and you hadn't asked for help. SS are not your enemies and they very rarely consider a care home as the first option, as it's usually the most expensive option. They will explore an extended care package first plus telecare etc, but if they finally come to the conclusion that a care home is inevitable, then that is not the end of the world. Her needs will become greater, and it's difficult to keep someone safe who lives on their own. You really need to be clear about that - it should always be about her best interests. Quite frankly, she should not have been discharged from hospital before the hospital bed was installed. Falls can cause broken bones which will necessitate another hospital visit.

    You must look after yourself as well - Social Services should put support in place that enables you to return to work, so when you call them, give them the whole situation without dressing anything up. The consequences will be more support and you being able to keep your job - nothing to worry about.
  3. lindew

    lindew Registered User

    Sep 2, 2017
    mum wandering

    My mum has been in residential care for ten weeks to be assessed.
    She was prone to wandering in the early hours of the morning.
    She is now back home with the report stating that she has not tried to wander from the care home or even asked to go out.

    Mum has only been home a week and has already tried to go out five times!
    Luckily we have had door sensors fitted. Whilst being a good thing to alert us ,it is also causing us disturbed sleep as we get a phone call to let us know that the alarms have gone off.

    Her social worker states that mum does not qualify for residential care as she is not bad enough. Before she was assessed. She was found at six in the morning out in the rain with her underwear in a bag. She was soaked to the skin.

    All the social worker can offer is sheltered housing which in my opinion is useless as there are no alarms etc to stop her going out.

    I'm at my wits end. I just cannot seem to get the social worker to listen
  4. lindew

    lindew Registered User

    Sep 2, 2017
    Mum wandering

    Hi. My mum is the same. Social services may help you with an assessment. They might even offer respite. We have had to have door sensors fitted at mums which is good in one respect but we get a phone call at all hours to let us know that they have gone off which causes us disturbed sleep.you are not alone with this and I know exactly what you are going through. Residential care is a last resort with Social Services
  5. Normaleila

    Normaleila Registered User

    Jun 4, 2016
    rs84 I hope you have contacted SS by now. You and your mother both need help and advice.

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