Hello everyone, I've just got off the phone after trying to calm down my mum who was crying. My sister in law passed away two weeks ago and the funeral is not for another two weeks, to add to that pain, it's a two hour drive! With dad's incontinence and immense confusion, this journey is simply not practical for anyone. Mum has been able to find a place for two nights in a residential home and they want to meet dad this week so we broached the subject with him last night. Dad seemed on the surface, after some discussion, to accept this plan.
However, overnight has been difficult for mum. Dad has been shouting at her, wandering around the house naked, soiling himself and mum says he was so angry she was scared he was going to hit her. I spoke to dad on the phone but it was a very fractured conversation and sadly I wasn't much help. That was at 7.30, mum rang me in tears when the carers arrived to wash and dress dad at 8.30. I think the time has come to consider dad moving to residential care but how on earth do we explain this to him? He's my dad and I love him very much, but I can't stand by and watch my mum crumble into someone I don't recognise. I don't want to burden my brother with any details at the moment as his grief is incredibly raw and he has to be there for his children who are very young and missing mummy terribly.
Are there ever any easy answers?
However, overnight has been difficult for mum. Dad has been shouting at her, wandering around the house naked, soiling himself and mum says he was so angry she was scared he was going to hit her. I spoke to dad on the phone but it was a very fractured conversation and sadly I wasn't much help. That was at 7.30, mum rang me in tears when the carers arrived to wash and dress dad at 8.30. I think the time has come to consider dad moving to residential care but how on earth do we explain this to him? He's my dad and I love him very much, but I can't stand by and watch my mum crumble into someone I don't recognise. I don't want to burden my brother with any details at the moment as his grief is incredibly raw and he has to be there for his children who are very young and missing mummy terribly.
Are there ever any easy answers?