Mum is now in a care home with early onset of Alzheimer's, I am in need of emotional support.

[HannahR]

Hi to anyone that's reading this or is in the same boat...

It's difficult to know what to say on here, though I know this was the right decision to get some support.

Recently my Mum has moved in to care in November only turning 57. Unfortunately since the pandemic and giving birth to my baby I was only able to see her once in the last year or two. In honest truth, I was scared seeing the dramatic changes in her and not being able to cope with it. Being in denial that this was happening. Now recently able to see her now the restrictions have lifted I've visited the care home and saw my Mum. My heart sank and I gasped for air, my beloved Mum was unable to smile and needed full support to walk and see me. I just felt helpless and scared and there nothing I can do to change it...

I'm feeling so much grief and feeling scared of the future trying to cope with the final stages. Also feeling sad that now she finally has a grandchild and is unable to share memories with him. I just would love some emotional support from anyone, please. How do I cope, how can I see her and accept what's happening?

I just missing my Mum and feel the heartbreak that I can't have her support while being a new mum myself and hearing her words of wisdom and guidance.


Hannah x

 

[jzw01]

Hello @HannahR

I'm not in quite the same situation as you, but I feel for you. I have found that just writing on these forums helps me to accept what is happening and reading the experiences of others described on TP shows that we are not alone.

You will get lots of support from many people. Just browse around and you will find lots of help and advice.

 

[kindred]

Hi to anyone that's reading this or is in the same boat...

It's difficult to know what to say on here, though I know this was the right decision to get some support.

Recently my Mum has moved in to care in November only turning 57. Unfortunately since the pandemic and giving birth to my baby I was only able to see her once in the last year or two. In honest truth, I was scared seeing the dramatic changes in her and not being able to cope with it. Being in denial that this was happening. Now recently able to see her now the restrictions have lifted I've visited the care home and saw my Mum. My heart sank and I gasped for air, my beloved Mum was unable to smile and needed full support to walk and see me. I just felt helpless and scared and there nothing I can do to change it...

I'm feeling so much grief and feeling scared of the future trying to cope with the final stages. Also feeling sad that now she finally has a grandchild and is unable to share memories with him. I just would love some emotional support from anyone, please. How do I cope, how can I see her and accept what's happening?

I just missing my Mum and feel the heartbreak that I can't have her support while being a new mum myself and hearing her words of wisdom and guidance. It’s pretty hard to accept what is happening, all we can do is understand that she is being cared for and that she obviously was so loved by you so has had a good family life, which I’m sure is what she would have most wanted. I so understand and you sound such a lovely daughter. Please keep posting and we will support you all we can.

Kindred aka Geraldinex

Hannah x

Hannah I am so sorry what an awful shock for you, and your mum is so young for this. I know, you need your mum to love her grandchild and show you the ropes.

 

[kindred]

Hi to anyone that's reading this or is in the same boat...

It's difficult to know what to say on here, though I know this was the right decision to get some support.

Recently my Mum has moved in to care in November only turning 57. Unfortunately since the pandemic and giving birth to my baby I was only able to see her once in the last year or two. In honest truth, I was scared seeing the dramatic changes in her and not being able to cope with it. Being in denial that this was happening. Now recently able to see her now the restrictions have lifted I've visited the care home and saw my Mum. My heart sank and I gasped for air, my beloved Mum was unable to smile and needed full support to walk and see me. I just felt helpless and scared and there nothing I can do to change it...

I'm feeling so much grief and feeling scared of the future trying to cope with the final stages. Also feeling sad that now she finally has a grandchild and is unable to share memories with him. I just would love some emotional support from anyone, please. How do I cope, how can I see her and accept what's happening?

I just missing my Mum and feel the heartbreak that I can't have her support while being a new mum myself and hearing her words of wisdom and guidance.


Hannah x

I think my post clashed with another incoming and got lost! You are so welcome here and this has been such a shock. I am so sorry. You are obviously so loving to your mother and she has been a good mum. That’s what she would have wanted I’m sure.
My mum was not able to be a grandma to my little boy but I have kept her loving values as a mum myself. And so will you.
Please keep posting, we will support you all we can.
Kindred aka Geraldinex

 

[HannahR]

Hello @HannahR

I'm not in quite the same situation as you, but I feel for you. I have found that just writing on these forums helps me to accept what is happening and reading the experiences of others described on TP shows that we are not alone.

You will get lots of support from many people. Just browse around and you will find lots of help and advice.

Thank you

I really hope people will reach out to me. It's just nice to get a sense of that nurturing, mothering support that you normally get from your parents. It's also sad to say my father passed away with cardiovascular disease a long time ago so I'm feeling knocked down and helpless.

 

[HardToLetGo]

Sending you love and empathy, can relate to all you have said but I guess luckier as at a later stage in life when all this horrible stuff happened to us. No words of wisdom but I do believe the love and care of your Mum for you is forever and also your children will know her through you. Thank you for posting and take care of yourself knowing your Mum is being looked after x

 

[HannahR]

I think my post clashed with another incoming and got lost! You are so welcome here and this has been such a shock. I am so sorry. You are obviously so loving to your mother and she has been a good mum. That’s what she would have wanted I’m sure.
My mum was not able to be a grandma to my little boy but I have kept her loving values as a mum myself. And so will you.
Please keep posting, we will support you all we can.
Kindred aka Geraldinex

Yes, it is a big shock! I don't know what to do. I'm scared to see her again and how I would manage to cope around her the images of her current self...
My own health has considerably been affected by the stress and worries that my weight has just fallen off me, panic attacks, and non-stop crying. I am currently receiving help at the moment on the phone and learning cognitive behavior. However, the feeling of darkness and fear of losing another parent...
How can I cope with this? How can I accept it?


Thank you for reaching out to me <3 x

 

[HannahR]

Sending you love and empathy, can relate to all you have said but I guess luckier as at a later stage in life when all this horrible stuff happened to us. No words of wisdom but I do believe the love and care of your Mum for you is forever and also your children will know her through you. Thank you for posting and take care of yourself knowing your Mum is being looked after x

<3 It means a lot to hear your reply and thank you for sharing. I know she's being looked after and I'm not alone with this situation. I hope I find ways to accept this and able to keep productive and keep going... x