Mum is in hospital now

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Gwennie, Jan 7, 2011.

  1. Gwennie

    Gwennie Registered User

    Aug 15, 2010
    After mum wandering out of her ECH just before NYE I am now dealing with mum being in hospital. She is diabetic and had what at the time was believed to be athletes foot but has now developed into diabetic foot ulcers which are infected. She has septesemia and has been transferred from her local hospital to a hospital that has diabetic podiatrists on site. Anyway she's now been admitted to the new hospital as she needs to have angioplasty done to clear the blockage in the veins in her leg which has meant the blood supply is not reaching her foot and it's unable to heal. After a day at this new hospital going from dept to dept they finally admitted mum after 8 hours of being there by which time mum was so highly aggitated that she became agressive and abusive and myself and a male nurse had to almost "drag" my mum to the ward as she would not sit in the wheelchair despite having a bad foot.
    It was heartbreaking for me to watch and for my mum to say she wants to the police and you can't take me anywhere and to see her so distressed. I know the blood infection is causing more confusion but having been moved from home to hospital 1 on Tuesday to hospital 2 on Thursday it does not help her wellbeing.
    I suppose now I have more "evidence" to support mums case for a move to EMI or NH - all the medical staff treating her have said she should not be going back to ECH.
    Mum was supposed to have had the procedure done this morning but have called the hospital to learn they have cancelled it, don't know why as they won't tell me on the phone!
    On my way to King's College Hospital now and hoping mum is more settled and in a good mood to see me!

    Exhausted Gwennie
  2. Rachel T

    Rachel T Registered User

    Dec 9, 2010
    So sorry Gwennie,

    My thoughts are with you and your mum.

    Take care of yourself.
  3. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    Hello Gwennie, what a difficult situation for you and your mum.
    I know a lot of operations etc have been cancelled due to staff illness and flu admissions. I can't see why you would not have been told this on the phone though if that is the case.
    Please keep posting and let us know how you and your mum are getting on.

  4. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    Dear Gwennie,

    I would just like to say that I realise how distressing this must be for both you and your mum and I do hope that your mum finds one of those hospital places that are able to offer really good care to a person with dementia:) It is possible;)

    I hope that you have a good visit and that you get the information that you require as to why the procedure was cancelled. I do know that they are cancelling some procedures in this neck of the woods due to the intake of flu patients.

    I will look forward to hearing your update.

  5. paulene

    paulene Registered User

    Dec 27, 2010

    Sorry to hear of your moms illness. My mother Has VD but is placid but is in and out of hospital, When she had to go in care home we said she was nursing but would only fund care as cheaper, We have battled with hospitals as mom in/out on regular basis with health problems, No matter how many time s we say mom has VD and we must be spoken to and informed of what is happening this never happens, After a week in hospital last year finally got to see Dr who then said he had spoken to mom for 15 mins tha day but knew nothing about her, The medical staff do not seem to understand the concerns we have for LO and especially if elderly. Will keep you all in my prayers.
  6. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    South Ribble
    Wow Gwennie,
    This sounds like an awful lot of worry all at the same time. I hope the hospital are treating her well and have got it all under control when you arrive. Will be thinking of you, please update us and let us know how she goes.

    My local hospital is on swine flu alert so it may be this that's affecting things. They need operating theatres and staff to nurse critically ill swine flu cases when intensive care is full.

    Take care x
  7. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    #7 DeborahBlythe, Jan 7, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2011
    Gwennie, I'm really sorry to read about your mum's situation. I was just about to send you a link to a document that might be useful on your other thread when I spotted this one about your mum being in hospital. :eek:
    I'm not sure the document is so relevant now.

    Have you had any contact recently with the Social Work team who know your mother?
    Please keep posting. Deborah
  8. Gwennie

    Gwennie Registered User

    Aug 15, 2010
    Hi TP
    And thanks for all your replies. Only just got the time to update you all.
    So much as happened. The registrar that visited mum and said she needed the op has since told me he didn't realised mum had dementia as she showed no symptoms when he examined her - never mind the fact that it was in her notes from the first hospital which he read while he was on the ward! And as mum is so agitated they can't perform the procedure since she needs to keep still for 4 hours after the op to avoid blood clots.
    Due to the infection mum now has delerium on top of her dementia and her mental state is very poor. Mum no longer speaks to me but whispers - nonsense. She doesn't eat unless she is fed and stays in her hospital bed no longer than 15 mins before getting up and pacing the ward. She's pulled the drip out of her arms 3 times so drugs are hard to give intravenously which would be so much better than her taking oral medication and she's pulls every dressing off her foot.
    Every time I visit I end up feed her meals while she sits with her eyes shut - I'm not even sure if she knows its me or not.
    I've contacted SS to let them know her situation and to push on getting her assessed on moving to care home instead of the ECH property that she manages to wander out of - currently ss have only asked me how mobile mum is, when is she going to be discharged.
    And to top this off mum is in a hospital that is far from home and means after doing a full days work I take a tube and train to the hospital and two trains home arriving home around 8.30pm everynight. I can't continue like this but what else can I do.
    Sorry TP it's a long thread but just have to get this off my chest to people that understand the situation!

    Struggling, Gwennie!
  9. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    North East England
    Gwennie, you have to give yourself a fighting chance and back off a bit..Yes I know easier said than done. Mum is in hospital, check. She is safe. check, she will be given her medication one way or another by people who will have to deal with worse patients than her. check. You cannot mend her yourself and as she is in such a state with her dilerium you need to give yourself a night off. Not tonight necessarily but a whole night off. There should be an assessment by the hospital re-ablement team before your Mum is discharged and they will /ought to be in touch with your own SW team. She will not be sent home to manage without it because I cannot imagine that her current ECH will be prepared to have her back until one is done. Tomorrow is Saturday and there will be little done by the administrators over the weekend, so give yourself a break girl, before you break, girl. Nag over.x.:)
  10. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    South Ribble
    #10 piedwarbler, Jan 14, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2011
    Dear Gwennie

    You made me cry, I feel so sorry for your mum and you. What a sorry sorry combination of factors combining to make things impossible for you both. You cannot continue that journey every day, everyone on here will "give you permission" if you are unable to give it to yourself to visit at least every other day! (I visited my mum when she was in hospital every day, after work, and can I just tell you it was a ten minute drive from my work and it nearly killed me on top of full time job and 2 kids and Hubby working away).

    Cragmaid's advice : so give yourself a break girl, before you break, girl is spot on, so please take it.
  11. Gwennie

    Gwennie Registered User

    Aug 15, 2010
    You are all right!
    I have to give myself a break. I am doing the best I can under the circumstances and I will be no use to mum if I make myself ill. So I've told myself it will be every other day I visit mum and she could be in hospital a little while, it's already been 10days.
    Thank goodness for TP.


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