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Mum is free at last!

Murper1

Registered User
Jan 1, 2016
123
Mum did not wake up yesterday morning.

After more than ten years of dementia, I felt I could see her girlishly skipping and happily side kicking her way towards my Dad and my brother calling "I'm free! I'm free!".

Already people are saying what a relief it must be for me. But I am not relieved. I am devastated. I miss her so very very very much. And I realise that I am now also grieving for my Dad and brother which I couldn't really do until now.

I don't know whether I will be posting on TP again or not. But I want to say thank you so much for all the discussion and information and sharing on here. My life looking after Mum was hugely better because of you.
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
Mum did not wake up yesterday morning.

After more than ten years of dementia, I felt I could see her girlishly skipping and happily side kicking her way towards my Dad and my brother calling "I'm free! I'm free!".

Already people are saying what a relief it must be for me. But I am not relieved. I am devastated. I miss her so very very very much. And I realise that I am now also grieving for my Dad and brother which I couldn't really do until now.

I don't know whether I will be posting on TP again or not. But I want to say thank you so much for all the discussion and information and sharing on here. My life looking after Mum was hugely better because of you.
Please accept my sympathy Murpert, at this time of mixed feelings and sadness...
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,168
68
Dundee
I'm so sorry to read about your mum. I'm glad she's at peace but can understand how you must now feel.

I do hope you keep posting here as you will need support over the days and weeks to come. Wishing you strength.
 

lemonjuice

Registered User
Jun 15, 2016
1,534
England
Mum did not wake up yesterday morning.

After more than ten years of dementia, I felt I could see her girlishly skipping and happily side kicking her way towards my Dad and my brother calling "I'm free! I'm free!".

Already people are saying what a relief it must be for me. But I am not relieved. I am devastated. I miss her so very very very much. And I realise that I am now also grieving for my Dad and brother which I couldn't really do until now.

I don't know whether I will be posting on TP again or not. But I want to say thank you so much for all the discussion and information and sharing on here. My life looking after Mum was hugely better because of you.
I know it must be so devastating for you, but to know after all the ravages of dementia that she died quietly and peacefully will hopefully be such a comfort in years to come.
It is certainly an end my mother would wish for herself I know and one I hope will be fulfilled with all my heart.

As to posting again, after you've had time to re-adjust think about sharing some of the 'expertise' to others who will be where you were years back and 'return the favour'.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,811
Yorkshire
sad news Murper1
such a touching post
I bet all 3 are catching up and saying how proud they are of you
however and whenever it comes, the death of our mum is a major moment in our lives
take time to grieve; be gentle with yourself
I am glad TP has been a support to you - it will be here still should you choose to come back
very best wishes
 

father ted

Registered User
Aug 16, 2010
698
London
Keep posting Murper, both of you are now free. It is still so raw that you will be full to the brim with sadness and emotion but as the days pass I hope you will recall the good times you all had and be content with the vital part you played in making them happen. Take care. X
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,563
Ireland
So very sorry, Murper. I know you wouldn't wish your mum back with her illness, but at the same time, you must feel very bereft, with so many gone ahead of you. Wishing you much strength for the coming months.xx
 

Gwendy1

Registered User
Feb 9, 2016
414
Glasgow
I'm so sorry for your loss, Murper. Your mum is no longer suffering, but that does not ease the pain of her loss, I know. My dad is slowly nearing the end, I will be distraught when the time comes, but I will have a piece of my heart that knows he's with my mum and free from this. So sorry for you at this time. Much love. X


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,941
North East England
I could see her girlishly skipping and happily side kicking her way towards my Dad and my brother calling "I'm free! I'm free!".
...... this brought a smile to my lips and a tear to my eye.

I know that figuratively this now makes you free too....but it takes a long time before the ties that have bound you finally undo their knots.
Be kind to yourself, let yourself grieve, shed a tear and remember all those who were part of your life and have gone on ahead to be free.
Thinking of you with love and sympathy for your loss.x.x.
 

janetyvonne53

Registered User
Dec 13, 2016
10
She has been your whole life for those years and now suddenly, you are alone. Your job is done. Be proud of the wonderful woman you are to have cared for so long. My thoughts are with you. Xxx
 

kingmidas1962

Registered User
Jun 10, 2012
3,537
South Gloucs
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I wasn't sure if I'd ever come back here after my dad died but I felt very supported in the period after he died and always found a sympathetic 'ear' but you will find your own way. Gentle hugs x

Sent from my SM-G935F using Talking Point mobile app
 

Pickles53

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
2,474
Radcliffe on Trent
My deepest sympathy to you.

Such a churn of mixed feelings, exactly how I felt when mum died. Sad for me, my daughter, my grandchildren who have lost her, but not really sad for her as I know she would not have wanted to carry on living as she was.

Three years ago, but I still check in to TP regularly. Somehow it makes me feel connected to mum, and I also feel that it's a chance to 'give back' for the amazing help, knowledge and support I got from others. For others it's too painful and just reminds them of their saddest moments.

So hope we'll 'see' you here again but if not, wish you well for the future.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,690
South coast
My mum has just been set free too, so I understand the bittersweet turmoil of gladness that they are now free of the horrible disease, total devastation that they are gone and relief that it it is, finally, all over.
Be gentle with yourself - there is lots to do and many things can wait.
 

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