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Mum is feels abandoned and wants physical contact all the time


Registered User
Feb 22, 2015
My Mum has macular degenration as well as alzheimer's. She lives in a care home but has been unable to form any bond with the care staff and feels very isolated lonely and abandoned. She does not recognise them or remember them.She tells people she has been dumped by her family despite the fact I visit virtually every day.

For some time she has wanted to hold on to me when I visit and is becoming more and more distressed when I leave the home. She does not like being in a room on her room and last night was adamant that she would not go to bed unless someone was going to sleep with her. she did not want to be alone all night. she has had a teddy bear for some time but dismisses it unusally saying she wants a real person not a stupid teddy bear.

Has anyone had this experience or any ideas on how to deal with it.


Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
Hi Chucka
I just saw your post on the other thread and posted this to you

This made me cry! She must be so frightened and she needs a key worker looking after her. How can they be so thoughtless in her Home. All the behaviour you are describing shows how frightened she is. I suggest you write a letter to the Manager explaining how frightening this is for your mum and that the home isn't meeting her needs and they need to resolve it. Then put a notice on your Mum's door saying. "When you enter the room please introduce yourself before going any further. Make sure that my Mother knows who you are and please speak to her. Make sure she knows how you are going to help her before you start and when you have finished before you leave please make sure you tell her"

This info is on the RNIB website
Where can I find a care home for blind and partially sighted people?
All care homes across the country should welcome blind and partially sighted residents, and they should be accessible to older people no matter what disabilities they may have. We can offer advice and information about finding a care home if you call our Helpline on 0303 123 9999 or email helpline@rnib.org.uk. You can also find out more information on moving to a care home from Age UK.

The website is https://help.rnib.org.uk/help/daily-...sing/care-home

However, if you are interested in moving to a more specialist care home, permanent and short-stay accommodation is available for older people with sight loss at RNIB’s three residential homes. These are:

Kathleen Chambers House in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset
Wavertree House in Hove (near Brighton), Sussex
Tate House in Harrogate, North Yorkshire.

I don't know if this is helpful but she really really needs a key carer who she can trust and who understands her needs.

I don't know if any of this helps xx