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Mum is becoming violent

Lellyhelly

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
33
0
Mum has been in a EMI nursing home for 3 years and has recently become increasingly violent. She is frail and is confined to an wheelchair but is hitting carers and throwing food etc at them. I worry what will happen to her if the Home management decides that they can no longer cope with her. Does anyone know what could happen to her?
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,042
0
Kent
Hello @Lellyhelly

Has the home given any indication they might ask you to find another home for your mother or is this just your worry?

Have a word with the management and ask if they have any ideas how to help your mum. Have they sought medical advice? Is there any medication which might help your mum become less confused and aggressive?
 

KatyKat

Registered User
May 8, 2022
111
0
From what I've heard, it's possible she could be transferred to a different care home -- one that specialises in aggressive dementia patients. I don't know what the laws are where you are -- however, my aunt, who was placed in a care home last year, was apparently expelled from the facility due to violent behavior. The care home did not place her in a new residence. It was up to my cousins to find her a new spot in a specialist memory care facility.
 

Lellyhelly

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
33
0
Hello @Lellyhelly

Has the home given any indication they might ask you to find another home for your mother or is this just your worry?

Have a word with the management and ask if they have any ideas how to help your mum. Have they sought medical advice? Is there any medication which might help your mum become less confused and aggressive?
I have spoken to a manager, she says that they will give mum a test for UTI and ask the memory team to come and assess her. It seems that there are no Gp visits only telephone consultations and mum is unable to speak coherently. I feel so helpless. At the moment they haven’t mentioned another home, but surely that would only cause more distress?
From what I've heard, it's possible she could be transferred to a different care home -- one that specialises in aggressive dementia patients. I don't know what the laws are where you are -- however, my aunt, who was placed in a care home last year, was apparently expelled from the facility due to violent behavior. The care home did not place her in a new residence. It was up to my cousins to find her a new spot in a specialist memory care facility.
Oh I am so sorry for your situation, this is what I am worried about. Thank you for your input.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,424
0
South coast
Hi @Lellyhelly

EMI units are usually better at dealing with challenging behaviour than residential homes whose staff do not have as much training and/or experience of the more advanced stages of dementia. When someone is asked to leave a residential home it is often an EMI home that they move to. The EMI care home mum was in would accept some aggressive behaviour and knew how to divert it. The only time they would not accept it is if there was a risk to the safety to other residents or staff.

When mum first went into this home she hit one of the staff with her walking stick and I was horrified and thought they would ask her to leave, but it was shrugged off as "one of those things". Please talk to the manager about your fears and ask them how they will deal with it. You may well find that they are not considering asking her to leave.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,192
0
I agree with @canary - speak to the manager.
Mummy regualrly hit staff, and a few times other residents, towards the end of her dementia journey. I was always worried that she might have to leave her care home, but happily, and due to the excellent care of the staff, she was able to stay until she died. Sadly, they were well used to violent behaviour and we tried a number of strategies (more epxerienced staff, staff not wearing uniforms, sedative, psychiatrist input) in order to address this - she had a particular issue with personal care. These behaviours can be very hard to address but a good care home, probably an EMI unit, should be able to deal with them.
 

T1000

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
106
0
So sorry to hear this, must be incredibly distressing for you, perhaps you can chat to them as others have said and this will ease your worry about her being moved.
 

Lellyhelly

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
33
0
Thanks all for your replies, mum seems calmer today. She is in an EMI nursing home so maybe they will be able to cope, perhaps I am worrying for no reason.
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,914
0
my aunt was accused of being aggressive when in hospital, she was using her walking stick to fend people off. Perhaps this is a reaction when people with dementia feel fear, just imagine not being understood, not understanding what is being said or what is going on.
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
503
0
outside UK
My MIL was recently violent and pulled another resident out of bed. Luckily they got the psych in and he put her on some new meds. The CH manager explained the violence was due to a her having a big downturn in her mental capacity. The meds have stopped the violence but she always seems tired when we see her. This could be the meds or it could be the dementia. They did test UTI etc but in the end the new meds seemed to have helped. The CH have experience and expect to be challenged I am sure they will work something out that suits you all.