1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Mum is 93 and declining rapidly!

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by poppywillow, Mar 29, 2015.

  1. poppywillow

    poppywillow Registered User

    Mar 29, 2015
    17
    I am new to this forum - my Mum is 93 this week - physically ok (other than AMD and some deafness) but has had memory problems for the past few years. Recently, however, she has been getting much worse - doesn't seem to retain information for more than a few minutes. Both her parents had dementia - her Mum had Alzheimers, her Dad had Vascular dementia. I have never asked her to see the GP about this as I worry that she will think she is going the way of her parents. Now, however, I feel that some medical input is required - is there any point in trying to persuade her to see her GP? Or can little be done?
     
  2. tony197100

    tony197100 Registered User

    Mar 29, 2015
    2
    Hi I don't want to sound negative but at 93 she is doing quite well,and answer to you question they cannot or will not do anything with alzheimers I know my dad died last month aged 72 its a very degrading disease.
     
  3. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,293
    SW London
    The most they would probably do is to prescribe something to slow the progress of the disease. However these are not guaranteed to make much difference, although some people do find they help quite a bit, and they don't suit everybody.
    Seeing the GP might well lead to all sorts of visits to sundry clinics and tests, which might prove to be humiliating or distressing for her. So it's a question of weighing up the pros and cons. I don't think I would have put my mother through tests and visits to clinics at that age, but everyone is different and this is of course bound to be a personal decision.
     
  4. Pottingshed50

    Pottingshed50 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2012
    514
    Welcome to Talking Point. I agree with others here that at 93 your Mum is doing wonderfully well. I think of 93 as 'cracking on' rather than old or the word I hate elderly. Bless her , if at 93 you cannot be a little forgetful then God help the rest of us. I am almost 70 and often have lapses of memory, it comes with territory. I expect like others and myself you go upstairs and get there and wonder what the duce have I come up here for. Likewise with peoples names etc.

    If she lives on her own just keep an eye on the important things like - using the cooker for instance. We got to a stage where this had to be turned off completely and the microwave (oh that poor microwave, talk about 9 lives) as she regularly blew that up.

    Be there for her, which you are obviously doing.
     
  5. poppywillow

    poppywillow Registered User

    Mar 29, 2015
    17
    Thanks everyone - I think you have confirmed what I felt - that at 93 she really could do without having to have lots of tests etc done. Great to have input from people who have been there!
     
  6. poppywillow

    poppywillow Registered User

    Mar 29, 2015
    17
    Further to my previous posts - Mum was 93 today and seems even more confused. To cap it all her gardener rang me to say that he feels she is 'vulnerable'. She had given him money without seeming to be sure who he was, although he has been doing her garden for years. I feel guilty now that I haven't done more to persuade her to see the GP. She said today that she had meant to have a shower but 'forgot' - I am wondering if she also forgets to eat as she is losing weight.
    Her TV wasn't working properly so I set up a new one though she says she hardly watches it - as she has poor sight due to AMD, TV is her only pastime. She says she sleeps most of the time as the TV is 'boring'. I feel that, perhaps against my better judgement, I need to make an appointment with her GP - I would feel terrible if it turned out that she could be helped with medication. Thoughts?
     
  7. CeliaThePoet

    CeliaThePoet Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    614
    Buffalo, NY, USA
    Poppywillow, I'd suggest that before you involve the GP, that you get a real sense of what your mom needs. Could you spend a day and night with her? See if she is eating, taking another meds, what she does about bathing, clothing, etc? Is she wandering? Meds don't usually give a person much back, though in some cases they can slow a decline. If she does have a form of dementia, a decline is almost inevitable over time. She may be able to stay on her own with more support, but this too might be temporary. At any rate, get a sense of the situation and her needs so that you can properly report to the doctor, as it is unlikely your mom's report will be very accurate, and not much can be learned from a physical exam.

    Best of luck.
     
  8. poppywillow

    poppywillow Registered User

    Mar 29, 2015
    17
    Thanks - my brother is going to be staying with her for a few days in 3 weeks so should get an idea of how things are..
     
  9. velocity

    velocity Registered User

    Feb 18, 2013
    174
    North Notts
    Hi Also perhaps to check for any infections ie UTI's or that medications (if your Mum is taking any) are being taken or are still effective.:)
     

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