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Mum in the UK just diagnosed, I live in Spain

Debbie Spain

New member
Jun 11, 2020
3
0
Hi, ive just joined this site and I'm finding this week a bit of a blur - rollercoaster of emotions. My Mum is 74 but her health isn't good either, and she also has osteoporosis so her regular falls are a serious concern.
I live in Spain and obviously at the moment cannot come to the UK, and for the foreseeable it won't be possible. How can I support my Mum and Dad in forthcoming weeks / months - and beyond?? Even after coronavirus is under control I won't be able to visit anywhere near or for as long as I'd want to.
I'm worried for both of them, they do have a great support network in their friends but my Dad gets very stressed, doesn't like asking for help.
Any advice from anyone in a similar position will be oh so gratefully received 🙏
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,302
0
N Ireland
Hello and welcome.

You will be in shock for a while as it's the norm. I felt like I'd been hit in the face with a frying pan when my wife was diagnosed, even though it explained all her perplexing behaviours.

I know we have other members caring from a distance and some in Spain so I hope you will get good advice and the membership has vast collective experience and knowledge.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,302
0
N Ireland
By the way, I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in your mum's area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting.
 

Debbie Spain

New member
Jun 11, 2020
3
0
Thankyou for your very helpful reply, I've spent absolutely ages exploring this site - it's amazing!! I've got lost reading one thing, that's linked me into another, and another!
You describe it just like my Dad did, the being hit in the face with a frying pan - but also that it explained alot of strange behaviours.
I know they had a home visit from their assigned mental health nurse this week, she sounds lovely and spent 2 hours with them, explaining what it all means, the help available etc. I know they're still very overwhelmed by it all.
It's hard not being there, but I know they have wonderful friends - I just hope Dad will reach out, and get the help HE needs too.
How do you cope? How are YOU - there is no good outcome with this, and that's the hard part, and watching the person you love slowly disappear - thankyou for your message, sending you a big hug x