mum in tears

[eebie]

due to circumstances my mum of 87yrs had to leave her home, after a year long struggle she was given a tenancy in housing with care 2weeks ago, she has deteriated since going there having taken diahorea i have been frought with problems, had to change doctor who said he could not do much till her records come through,was uncaring in attitude said "she is very old" i have been treating this and now got it stopped, think her thyroid tablet has been going through her too, so she is weak, sleeping a lot and walking bad,asked to have her tablets boxed so care staff can administrate them but still waiting, she is not able to walk to restuarant for tea key worker said this cannot go on, i offered to come in and make her something but she does not seem to want this,said mum was refusing to shower (washing herself down) she is used to a bath, and problems with not producing washing, mum is used to putting clothes in machine and cant seem to grasp it when i ask her to put them in basket so is putting them back in drawers, she brought up my visiting every day and said there was no need, but need to see mum gets her pills, all this and more was said in front of mum and she started crying, which made me angry, am i being over protective? know mum is going downhill and am worried, not eating much now, i suggested i get wheelchair for carers to take her for tea, so that seems to have solved things for now, i would appreciate your thoughts on this, thanks.

 

[Amy]

Hiya Eebie,
It must hurt you to see your mum upset, and struggling to cope, but well done you seem to have sorted the problem of her walking to get her tea.

Right, the doctor, has he got the records through yet? Give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe your first visit he was having a bad day. An elderly person cannot be allowed to continue with 'the runs'. When mum had the runs we got some powders from the chemist that replace essential minerals (Electrolytes I think they are called), it was amazing the difference that they made to her. She had got so that we culdn't wake her up, but within an hour of getting her to drink this stuff she became more 'with it'.

Do you think that you could get mum to use the shower? Maybe the newness of it, and the unfamiliarity of the keyworker is all too much for your mum - I just wonder if you could help her to get used to it, then she may be more willing when you are not around.

Right until you get the tablet box from the chemist, could you devise your own system, matchboxes, labelled bags, envelopes?

What about putting the washing basket in the kitchen, if that is where mum is used to putting her clothes. Is she still able to read? Could you put up a big sign 'Dirty clothes'.

Don't know if this is of any use.
Best wishes
Amy

 

[noelphobic]

Hiya Eebie,

Right until you get the tablet box from the chemist, could you devise your own system, matchboxes, labelled bags, envelopes?
Best wishes
Amy

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through Eebie, and it must make things so hard that you are getting very little support. Does your mum have a social worker or a cpn? If so, could they help in some way? It doesn't sound as though the staff are being very realistic in telling you not to visit every day when it's obvious that you need to do this, at least until things settle down, which hopefully they will.

Amy, I very much doubt that the staff would be willing to administer medication from matchboxes etc and they would probably not be allowed to! I don't know whether Ebbie is referring to blister packs which is what my mum's medication used to come in when she was getting care at home. Can you phone her previous GP and ask if they have sent the records and if they haven't stress the urgency of this?

I don't think the key worker should have been saying those things in front of your mum and I would be very angry about this.

I hope some of mine and Amy's suggestions are of some help and you manage to resolve things. Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

 

[Amy]

Oh, I thought she meant one of those boxes that you split the tablets in for each day.
Amy

 

[noelphobic]

Oh, I thought she meant one of those boxes that you split the tablets in for each day.
Amy

Possibly, but I wouldn't have thought you needed the GP's help to do that. You can buy those boxes at the chemist's We did have one of them for my mum for a while but once the 'carers' started going to her house they needed to be in blister packs. Health and safety regulations no doubt - if the pharmacist puts them in blister packs then the onus is on him to make sure everything is packaged correctly and then as long as the carer takes them from the right 'blister' then there is no liability on them presumably.

 

[Amy]

Sounds sensible; I don't know anything about them, not something we have had to do.
Amy

 

[eebie]

thanks Amy,i will try putting the basket in the kitchen, and labeling it, records not through yet but will get on the phone, thanks for answering, it is good to talk to some one eebie

 

[eebie]

thanks for the support, mum not got a social worker as she left, yes i meant the pharmasist has to do the pills or carers cant give them, went this afternoon and had another talk with key worker and asked her to please in future if she had problems to discuss with me to do it in private, she has now apologised and said it should not have happened, mum in tears i mean, olso hired a wheelchair to do just now, untill hospital gets one for her, it all takes so long to get things sorted,but mum not good to-day getting doc in to-morrow, take care all, this is very hard as you will all know, i feel there is not a lot of help out there, olthough they say there is. eebie