• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Mum in respite Dad at home on his own missing each other


Registered User
Jul 24, 2015
Hi - I need advice. My mum has advancing Alzheimers and Dad has FrontoTemporal Dementia they live together and have carers visit for 20 minutes 4 times a day. Over the weekend mum was found to have taken tablets she found in the house and this made her sleepy so the visiting carer called an ambulance.

The hospital had to activate the 'Vunerable person procedure' and long story short mum is now inn a care home for two weeks respite and dad is at home beside himself with missing mum.

No one can tell me what will happen after the two weeks, can mum go home? No one is willing to give me alternatives to a care home. Could they have a live in carer or just increase the level of care they currently receive.

Mum and dad are still in their 60's and neither want to be in a home or separated. They are fully able to wash and dad cooks microwave meals for them. I worry that by separating them will make things worse for them. Should I take dad to see mum? Mum will no doubt ask dad to take her home and he will say yes!

Any help or advice?


Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
British Isles
Hello HRB

Sorry you haven't had any replies yet so just giving your query a bump up. I think your parents' choices will partly depend on their financial position. If they have plenty of money then they could privately pay for much more care at home. Do they have room for live-in care?

Do you live near to them, are you able to pop round often to see how they are coping?

Hope someone with more knowledge of the system will be along to offer advice soon. Have you thought about what you would like to happen? If a care home becomes inevitable, you might want to ensure that they go on a waiting list for a home which can accept couples.

It seems strange that your Mum has been put in a care home for 2 weeks just because she accidentally took some tablets that made her sleepy. Have the professionals involved explained to you what other factors led to this decision, if it is against both your parents' wishes?

Hope you get some answers soon, and that your parents are soon together again.