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Mum in home!


Registered User
Feb 4, 2014
Well this is not going so well!! Please dear friends if you have any energy if be grateful for input!!
Mum went into care home. Originally 2 weeks respite then everyone decided she should stay there for her safety!
Was going quite good. Care home really good reputation , manager is fairly new and have to say she and I haven't hit it off! My sisters get on ok with her so happy to admit its me!! We didn't visit for first little while to get mum settled. Going good then last week deputy manager said thought mum had water infection! I was impressed and we all tried to get sample. They did and appeared to be slight one. Manager came back and said mum didn't have any symptoms and said needed another test. Never been done!! I know my mum isn't quite right!
Last night she was up quite a lot! Managed to get on the office in the middle of the night and managed to phone the police!! Wanting to go home!!
Now I'm not overly impressed as sister went in today and manager said we are going on too much and unsettling mum!! There are 3 sisters so difficult!
Any advice because at this moment I'm so angry that they didn't realise my mum was up and in the office!! So much for being checked!!
Anyway I'm biased so before I go and visit in the morning - any tips please??


Registered User
Oct 8, 2011
Try and keep calm if you can. All you can do is to keep asking for what your mum needs,and keep asking until it happens.
If you are next of kin,you are entitled to know what is going on.


Registered User
Feb 20, 2012
Northern Ireland
I know you are upset that your mother got to the office and phoned the police but in the greater scheme of things she wasn't in any danger. During the night all care homes do have less staff on duty as they expect the majority of residents to be sleeping. The staff on duty were probably attending to other tasks at the time your mum happened to wander in to the office. I know in mum's place they never lock the office door as there is nothing in there that poses a danger.
With regards to the UTI - my own mum gets them all the time. On occasion however she does have tests done which are negative for infection despite mum being out of sorts. The GP has said they prefer not to give antibiotics unless absouletly nescessary.
These are still very early days for you all with your mum only recently moving into the care home. Sometimes it is best to visit less when someone has just moved in as it gives the person time to settle in. Again I found this to be the case with my own mum. Staff reported she was calm and settled when I wasn't there yet in those early days every visit was hard with her getting very upset and demanding to be brought home. I'm not saying this is your mum's story but just perhaps where the home is coming from.


Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
Brixham Devon
Yes it is early days-so things can improve no end. However, the fact is the original sample showed a 'slight' infection; 'slight' infections CAN (but not always) turn into a full blown UTI. Yes! repeated use of AB's can reduced the effectiveness-but they are still needed when an infection is present.

I was lucky (if there ever is such a thing in Dementia land) as the Carers at my late Husband's CH always asked me if I thought Pete was 'off colour'-although in his case it was nearly always obvious:eek:If your Mum doesn't normally wander at night I would have thought alarm bells would have been ringing as a change in behaviour can be a sign.

If you are not happy perhaps you could phone the GP surgery and ask for advice?

Trust your instincts-and good luck.

Lyn T XX


Registered User
Feb 4, 2014
Morning. Thank you all for responding. I saw the manager yesterday and have booked a meeting with her next week to go through care plan and so on so I am pleased I eventually pinned her down. I have agreed not to visit on Saturday to see if there is any difference with mum having no visitors for a day. She settled very well in the first two weeks but has then become quite muddled. I have asked the manager to do a urine test just to make sure!! She has agreed to do one but I will wait now!!
This is harder than I ever imagined