• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Mum in denial

miha

Registered User
Aug 17, 2006
1
Bucks
My dad has AD which i have come to terms with as i knew he was ill for some time,but my mum refusing to admit it and doesnt seem well herself. She is beginning to come to terms with it and isnt coping at all well but refuses to accept help and insists the doctors and nurses at the hospital dont know what theyre talking about. As a result I dont think dad getting the care he could.
Im worried about her as dad is fine as long as hes told where hes going and who hes with but mums behaviour is totally erratic. One day she'll be in tears obviously devastated and finding it hard to cope, the next she pretends there is nothing wrong. She is showing signs of confusion herself which may be symptomatic of stress associated with caring but will not allow herself to be assessed. Im so worried that they could put themselves in danger by leaving cookers on etc and that they arent managing their financial affairs and could be taken advantage of. They want to move closer to me but dont seem capable of selling a property at the moment but i cant do anything as its in their names. Does anyone have any experience of dealing with someone who needs help but is incredibly stubborn and wont accept it ? I just dont know where to turn for help.
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Would your mum let you get POA so you can help them sell there home to be near you ?

I say I cannot blame your mother for going into denial who wants to face all those emotion it is a coping strategy for her, the day she is crying she is relishing tension that she is feeling over it.

You cannot change the way your mum feels in going into denial until she ready

It is going too hard for you to stand buy and see your mum like this because of your emotion for both your parent. I suppose you know this anyway.

Forgot to say welcome there is lots of lovely people on this site that I am sure can be of more help xx
 
Last edited:

Helena

Registered User
May 24, 2006
715
Try and get them to sign an EPA ,,,,,,,,,,,not a POA

you can download the forms from Guardianship office website

You can use it along with your mum to sort out finances /pay bills etc then once you have registered it you can even sell the house for them
 

Kathleen

Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
639
65
West Sussex
Hello Miha

Is it possible for you to write to or phone the doctor who sees your Dad to tell them of your concerns about them both, maybe they could get a visit to see for themselves what the problems are. They are both clearly in need of some help.

Have you any other close relatives that could help out at all? You sound very worried and stressed yourself.

Kathleen
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
112,792
Messages
1,652,121
Members
63,162
Latest member
Amanda909