Mum home from hospital, now refusing care

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Buddha, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. Buddha

    Buddha Registered User

    Feb 20, 2012
    18
    Wales
    hello all

    Mum was discharged from hospital yesterday, after an 8 week stint for an infection. Now she's home (OK so it's only been 24hours) she's refusing ALL care, and shooing away the carers. She was so compliant in hospital. Have I done the wrong thing? She has what would be described as 'moderate' Alzheimer's, but has taken a drastic turn for the worse over the last two months.

    Any suggestions would be very welcome!
    B
     
  2. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    801
    North East
    I would possibly inform the GP, the social workers and anyone else involved in her care and see what they have to say. There are all sorts of issues here. She has rights until she legally doesn't. Maybe a crisis will have to happen before something will be done or maybe there is another way around this.
    Get as much support as you can and do not overload yourself. If she refuses care and if she needs it to stay at home then the only option will be a care home. Maybe that's where she would rather be anyway?
    Hope you find some comfort and things get better soon xx
     
  3. Buddha

    Buddha Registered User

    Feb 20, 2012
    18
    Wales
    Dear Susy

    Many thanks for your kind response and advice-it's so hard to know what to do. She was really happy in hospital. It just breaks my heart to see her so distressed. Everyone is trying their hardest to settle her, so we'll see how she goes. Thanks again xx
     
  4. uncsat33

    uncsat33 Registered User

    Feb 23, 2015
    1
    My uncle was exactly the same. However his social worker and OT, GP etc all said it was a "lifestyle choice". He had carers going in 4 times a day and they would do nothing for him as he refused all care. I appreciate they are limited in how far they can go but rather than saying 'would you like a wash?', they could have tried 'I'll go and get a bowl and help you to wash, you'll feel much better'.

    As it happens, I came to see my uncle after some ten years of being out of the area and I was aghast at how I found him. He was naked (it was winter time) and unwashed. Indeed he looked like a tramp. I went and ran him a bath and said 'come and have a bath, you stink to high heaven'. He was completely compliant. I have since moved in with him and he now accepts all care.

    Sometimes you just need to find a carer who can connect with the person. Good luck with mum x
     

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