Mum hit Dad for the first time today

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Layla Pigeon, Jul 24, 2015.

  1. Layla Pigeon

    Layla Pigeon Registered User

    May 15, 2013
    14
    Essex, UK
    Mum has been on a gradual decline and refuses to go to doctor, dentist, hairdresser, you name it she will not go.
    Luckily a nurse did a home visit to gently assess Mum and she is now on some tablets but over the last few weeks everything has been "no" and she will not answer my Dad apart from "no" and some occasional arguments.
    Tonight she was desperate for the toilet but wouldn't go and was almost doubling over with pain as she needed to go so badly, Dad kept telling her to go but she wouldn't and eventuAlly he raised his voice and shouted at her to go and she hit him.
    She has never done this before and it has shocked us. Is this the next stage ?
    I'm thinking it could be an infection as she is holding in her wee but there is no way on this earth we could get her to the doctors.
    Wonder what your thoughts are ?
     
  2. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    Hi. Sorry to hear you are having this problem.

    It sounds like it's time to get a doctor out to see your mum at home. Dial 111. She may have a UTI and that could account for the aggression.

    Unfortunately, patients do often tend to get aggressive/violent as the disease progresses. Is your dad frail? If so, and your mum continues to hit him, you will need to ensure his safety. I've had issues with my mum hitting my dad, and the SS had to get involved to assess the situation.

    Anyway, I think the first thing is you need a doctor to see your mum. So try dialing 111. My mum does that several times a week and they always help her a lot and sometimes send people out to see dad.

    Best of luck,

    LS
     
  3. doodle1

    doodle1 Registered User

    May 11, 2012
    242
    My mum hit my dad too. Ring her gp and tell him the situation. Even if you don't have POA and he says he can't discuss her with you you can say to him that you can still tell him the situation and that you consider your father may be a vulnerable adult and he needs to do a home visit . The key words are vulnerable adult.this will make him take you seriously. Your gp can do an MMSE at home and then get the memory clinic involved.The memory clinic has always come to the house as mum would never have gone there.
    ask if he would consider prescribing Citalopram for your mum - it's an anti depressant and really helped my mum to be less violent. My mum's automatic reaction to everything was no ,still is - you do find ways round it.
    Feel free to pm me -it's really tough
     

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