Mum has vascular dementia

[Mojo13]

Hi I care for my mum who has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. Unfortunately the doctor has said medication is not an option as they think the damage was caused by mini strokes. My mum lives on her own at the moment but I have noticed a decline so am waiting for a care assessment to be carried out. I think we were all in denial at the beginning and as she is very hard of hearing assumed that was the problem. I have really good days, my mum giggles a lot more than she did, we dance around the room (with no music), to really low days like today where I am in tears as it hits me what is in store for her. I also feel guilty,selfish, questioning should I move her in with me but also remember how adamant she was that if anything should happen to her she did not want to live with any of us as in her words we had our lives to live. Also it would be taking her away from the area and people she knows. I suppose I joined to learn from other peoples experiences and to also realise I'm not the only one going through this.

 

[irishmanc]

Hi Mojo, sorry to hear your story. My Mum also has vascular dementia caused by small strokes. This eventually badly affected her ability to walk and she moved to a nursing home in December. She has settled there now but it took some time as she has much more awareness than someone with Alzheimer's. She is safe and very well looked after and we can now have fun on my visits. The home is about 30 miles from her home town so I also worried about taking her away from family and friends. However, she gets lots of regular visitors and enjoys every one of them. As she could no longer go out when she was at home, her location seemed less important to me than she could get excellent care and be well looked after. Don't forget to take care of yourself as well - you will experience a variety of difficult emotions on this journey and do not blame yourself.