1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

mum has Vascular dementia

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by cazuk, Feb 27, 2015.

  1. cazuk

    cazuk Registered User

    Oct 31, 2011
    8
    Hi there,
    My mum has vascular dementia after having a stroke in May 2014. Since then her memory has got very bad to the point she cannot remember what she said to me about 15-20 mins after talking to me.
    She lives alone in her own home and is coping very well but she phones me in London and she is in Kent panicking about not seeing anyone. She does not remember that she has been to 3 different clubs in the company of others and so thinks she has been alone.
    I am finding this very worrying and wonder how long she will be able to cope in her own home. I want the best for her but not sure really what to do. She does not want to go into a home and if she does get to that stage I want her near me so I can check on her.

    What have you done in this situation?

    Thanks
     
  2. daisydi

    daisydi Registered User

    Feb 25, 2015
    257
    Norfolk
    Hi, I was in exactly the same situation a couple of years ago. Then mum came up for Christmas one year and didnt want to go home. We ended up moving her up to Norfolk from London to be close to my sister and I. We had a couple of years but unfortunately she has just been taken into care as we could not cope any longer. If we had left her alone I'm not sure what would have happened but at least she had a couple of good years with us close by. Not sure if in hindsight it was the most sensible thing to do as she completely turned our lives upside down as her dementia progressed and I became her full time carer, gave up work etc. etc. to look after her. Now she has been taken into care I have to adjust to having my life back. At the time I was only thinking about her. Although she left her life behind in London she had stopped socialising and really did not have any quality of life there. So I think I am saying that I gave her another couple of years of independence in her own home with support but it was very hard as she gradually deteriorated. I think I would have felt worse if I was 100 miles away though. It wont be easy whatever you decide but I feel I did the best I could do for my mum and the fact that she is now in care is also the best for her as she needs care 24/7.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.