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Mum has recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia


New member
Nov 23, 2020
My mum was sectioned in May for her own safety. She was not eating,washing or taking care of herself. She is also an alcoholic. She had been deteriorating over the last few years,had seen doctors but refused to attend further appointments. She phoned me,her only child ,6 to 7 times a day to tell.me how unwell she was. I would do her food shopping then she would not eat any of it and I was all thrown out. I organised meals on wheels that didn't help, afternoon tea and day centres she wouldn't go. Basically she stopped going out. Eventually after a long struggle she was sectioned and she is still in hospital( over 6 months later). Her condition deteriorated further violent hallucinations, delusions and psychosis. She is on her 3rd antipsychotic which seems to be settling her. Two weeks ago she was diagnosed with vascular dementia. Obviously she has had symptoms for a long time and once she leaves hospital it will be into care as going back home is not an option. I am glad I joined this forum as I have realised I am not alone . Thanks.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hello @Menorca
a warm welcome to DTP
what a lot you and your mum have been going through
it does sound as though there may be some stability on the horizon for your mum after the move into residential care
you are definitely not alone ... there are lots of members here who understand and will offer support
so now you've started, keep posting with whatever is on your mind


Registered User
May 21, 2018
Hello @Menorca . That's been a rough ride for you and your mum. Have you been able to see her whilst in hospital? It is traumatic to see someone we love in such a state. There have been times when my mum, who also has vascular dementia, has been like a wild animal really. That sounds a terrible thing to say and I feel awfully guilty saying it but I can do so on here knowing people will understand and that it might help you. Mum has been in care for over three years now and it's not always been easy but she has plenty of times when she is happy and calm now, and the staff at the care home she is in have been marvelous. They genuinely do care for her (and like her "feisty nature").

I hope that this medication works for your mum and that she can be soon moved into a care home which suits her. It's important that the care home know what your mum is like and are confident that they can give her the care that she needs. We have found that regular reviews of medication have been very beneficial along the way. Keep posting now that you have found us. There are lots of us out here to help you along. You are definitely not alone.


Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
Hi @Menorca, my mum also has vascular dementia. She was always a strong minded assertive woman, but before dementia struck she knew when to be tough and when to use charm. As the dementia developed she started having ungovernable rages, and started doing very unsafe thigs such as drinking with random men in a local pub and bringing them home. It was one of her meltdowns in the waiting room of her doctor's surgery that finally got a psychiatrist out to visit her at home and diagnose vascular dementia. Like @lemonbalm, mum is now in a care home, where they also seem to like her feisty nature. Yes, there have been ups and downs but she is now safe and well looked after.
I hope they get medication sorted that suits your mum soon, and that she moves to a care home that suits her. When you can visit, you can go back to being a daughter, not a run-ragged carer.


New member
Nov 23, 2020
Hi thanks for your messages. I was able to visit my mum in hospital from July once a week but that has stopped at the moment. Now we are face timing once a week, somewhat of a challenge but better than nothing!At times the visits were very difficult and stressful but lately have been calmer. I will definitely let you know how things progress. It is fab to know that there are people that understand the struggles of trying to live life and care for someone whose needs can be very challenging and demanding. Take care x

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