I've been back a few days from visiting my parents - seeing my mum for the first time since she became ill.
A bit of background - my dad has had short-term memory loss for several years. He has apparently been tested for Alzheimers, but "apparently" does not have it - I say "apparently" because I don't think he's ever been re-tested, and I don't think it's planned for him to be re-tested.
Mum became ill in the Spring of this year. I thought she might have had a stroke, but a brain scan didn't show any damage. She now has short-term memory loss, and her personality has really changed - she no longer worries about anything (I guess because she forgets to worry!!).....she and dad no longer bicker
She sits quietly, saying very little. She's lost a lot of weight, but seems to be eating more (she had dessert one day when we had lunch out, something she would never have done in the past). I think she's actually enjoying life more, because she has no worries. I'm just not sure if this could be an early symptom of Alzheimers or dementia? She's having another brain scan soon, so hopefully that might show something this time.
My dad has got worse with his memory. An example (I apologise for borrowing Sylvia's method, but I think it's great - imitation is the greatest form of flattery, or so they say!!)
Dad - so J (my sister) is coming over tomorrow at 10:15 to get the cheque.
BdJ - yes dad, I won't be coming because I'll be packing the suitcase.
Dad - Will I see you tomorrow?
BdJ - no dad, I'll be packing at the hotel. J will come over tomorrow at 10:15 with the children to say goodbye, and to get the cheque (for school shoes - we had intended to buy them on holiday, but the queues were horrendous!!)
Dad - So what time are you coming over?
BdJ - I'm not coming Dad, just J and the children.
(Bear in mind - he's got all this information written down in his diary)
Dad - Will I see you tomorrow?
BdJ - see any of the above comments - they're all pretty much the same!!
Dad - What time will you be coming over in the morning?
BdJ - as above
Dad - How will I get the cheque to you?
and so it went on for about 10 minutes. I really sympathise with my sister who has to put up with this on an almost daily basis. It drove me crazy just those few short minutes.
Through all this, my mum is also making notes in her diary. Even though they both write everything down, they still constantly forget.
Another example, my mum this time - my sister asked my mum if she had been out that morning, as we hadn't been with her......mum looked in her diary, couldn't find anything about going out, but remembered enough to know that she goes out every morning for a walk, so, yes, she must have gone out that morning.
I came home feeling mixed emotions......happy that my mum seems content with her life. She's frustrated a little that she can't remember things, but she's so calm, the frustration is just like a minor irritation to her. Dad is happier too, partly because mum no longer bickers with him or nags him but also because he feels useful again, having retired many years ago - he now has to look after mum.
I also feel very sad, because mum has changed so much physically as well as mentally - her hair is now white (she can no longer colour it regularly) and she's lost weight. She seems so frail and tiny. I know that she loved having the grandchildren with her, and I'm glad I didn't cancel the holiday.
I've read so much on these forums (in fact, when I was on holiday I kept thinking of things that I must mention when I got back to TP!!!) I'm just not sure if mum and dad have dementia or az, or if their memory loss is - I was about to say "a normal progression of old age", but I know that's not true because many older people still have full use of their memories. So maybe they do both have dementia of some kind or another.
A bit of background - my dad has had short-term memory loss for several years. He has apparently been tested for Alzheimers, but "apparently" does not have it - I say "apparently" because I don't think he's ever been re-tested, and I don't think it's planned for him to be re-tested.
Mum became ill in the Spring of this year. I thought she might have had a stroke, but a brain scan didn't show any damage. She now has short-term memory loss, and her personality has really changed - she no longer worries about anything (I guess because she forgets to worry!!).....she and dad no longer bicker
She sits quietly, saying very little. She's lost a lot of weight, but seems to be eating more (she had dessert one day when we had lunch out, something she would never have done in the past). I think she's actually enjoying life more, because she has no worries. I'm just not sure if this could be an early symptom of Alzheimers or dementia? She's having another brain scan soon, so hopefully that might show something this time.My dad has got worse with his memory. An example (I apologise for borrowing Sylvia's method, but I think it's great - imitation is the greatest form of flattery, or so they say!!)
Dad - so J (my sister) is coming over tomorrow at 10:15 to get the cheque.
BdJ - yes dad, I won't be coming because I'll be packing the suitcase.
Dad - Will I see you tomorrow?
BdJ - no dad, I'll be packing at the hotel. J will come over tomorrow at 10:15 with the children to say goodbye, and to get the cheque (for school shoes - we had intended to buy them on holiday, but the queues were horrendous!!)
Dad - So what time are you coming over?
BdJ - I'm not coming Dad, just J and the children.
(Bear in mind - he's got all this information written down in his diary)
Dad - Will I see you tomorrow?
BdJ - see any of the above comments - they're all pretty much the same!!
Dad - What time will you be coming over in the morning?
BdJ - as above
Dad - How will I get the cheque to you?
and so it went on for about 10 minutes. I really sympathise with my sister who has to put up with this on an almost daily basis. It drove me crazy just those few short minutes.
Through all this, my mum is also making notes in her diary. Even though they both write everything down, they still constantly forget.
Another example, my mum this time - my sister asked my mum if she had been out that morning, as we hadn't been with her......mum looked in her diary, couldn't find anything about going out, but remembered enough to know that she goes out every morning for a walk, so, yes, she must have gone out that morning.
I came home feeling mixed emotions......happy that my mum seems content with her life. She's frustrated a little that she can't remember things, but she's so calm, the frustration is just like a minor irritation to her. Dad is happier too, partly because mum no longer bickers with him or nags him
but also because he feels useful again, having retired many years ago - he now has to look after mum.I also feel very sad, because mum has changed so much physically as well as mentally - her hair is now white (she can no longer colour it regularly) and she's lost weight. She seems so frail and tiny. I know that she loved having the grandchildren with her, and I'm glad I didn't cancel the holiday.
I've read so much on these forums (in fact, when I was on holiday I kept thinking of things that I must mention when I got back to TP!!!) I'm just not sure if mum and dad have dementia or az, or if their memory loss is - I was about to say "a normal progression of old age", but I know that's not true because many older people still have full use of their memories. So maybe they do both have dementia of some kind or another.
