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Mum has become nasty

Flake

Registered User
Mar 9, 2015
222
I expect this is common problem, the packing to go home, but yesterday I had a call that my Mum had threatened the carer shouted at her to leave and raised her hand to her. When I arrived, all ornaments, personal things had all been packed into bags and the house looked very bare. I managed to keep everything light hearted and went along with the story but changed it to say she wouldnt be going anywhere and someone was having a terrible joke with her!. Today was different. All packed up again but this time Mum was agitated and very hostile. Everything and everyone was against her and it as ok for me as I always got my own way and so on and so forth. In the end I left as it was quite upsetting. I have spoken to the care agency and they have said that should she remain aggressive then a specialised dementia home may be the answer. Is this the norm? :(
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,025
Scotland
A fresh look at what meds she's taking might be the first step. Contact her doctor. If that doesn't work then a care home may well be necessary.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Also might be worth checking if she has an infection - urinary or otherwise - they can really de-stabilise people x
 

lin1

Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
9,319
East Kent
Yes I agree check for an infection, UTIs are often the culprit but not the only one, ther are often silent, except for a a sudden downturn in dementia syptoms .

I am also wondering if your Mum is Sundowning, which is a rather horrid time for the person and their family. I don't know if you know about Sundowning , so I will find some info on here for you, apologies if you already know.

Sorry it's rather a long read it also explains other reasons for difficult behaviours .
Ie a lot of my mums worst Sundowning was actually the only way she could express pain, once we got that under control the Sundowning eased up a lot.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=159

I feel whoever you spoke to at the care agency was rather premature in saying that.
Speak to he doctors mum is under , memory clinic or GP and as said earlier check for those dratted infections .
When you can Please let us know how you get on.
 
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Flake

Registered User
Mar 9, 2015
222
Thank you for your comments. Lin 1 I have read the Alzheimers document and yes I think she may be Sundowning. I do actually think Christmas may have upset her routine. She has has different Carers in, one of which does not know her or her history and when I spoke to my Mum she said "that woman is out there waiting to take me away" and had packed her things and was clearly upset. This theme was repeated today and I probably did not explain things sensitively enough. She has the dietician coming to see her on Monday and I will also speak to Mums GP also. Thank you for your replies xx
 

Flake

Registered User
Mar 9, 2015
222
Its all changed today!

Went to see my Mum expecting to see everything packed up but it wasnt. All was calm, Mum sitting in lounge quite happy. She was pleased to see me and chatted away about the past and which of the long gone relatives had I seen and had we all been to the pub. Such a relief to find that all seems so well. :)