mum has alzheimers june2005

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by david1962, Jun 18, 2005.

  1. david1962

    david1962 Registered User

    Jun 14, 2005
    2
    nottingham
    hi everyone
    new to the forum.mum has alzheimers,she is 82 and lives on her own in a small bungalow.Finding it hard to be with her enough as I have a family to support.
    Have 5 other brothers but only one helps.the others havnt been to see her for months and some of them dont seem bothered.It makes me very mad
     
  2. KarenC

    KarenC Registered User

    Jun 2, 2005
    122
    Los Angeles, USA
    Welcome!

    The non-helpful siblings seems to be an all-too-common problem. (I'm an only child -- simplifies some things. :eek: )

    How well is your mum managing? How much are you currently doing for her? I'm not in the U.K. so don't know what social services may be available, but that might be something to explore.

    Best wishes,
    Karen
     
  3. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    6,630
    London
    Hi David,

    Is your mother based in the UK? If so you should get a social worker involved especially if she lives on her own. The early the better as they can help manage your mothers situations as time goes on (e.g. get someone to pop in and help her in the home). Have you contacted and spoken to her GP, they will have a good idea of what is available in the local area.

    Kind Regards
    Craig
     
  4. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Been there, done that with my two siblings. My sister does visit the home once a week or so yet my brother barely sees her, then again he has been consistently like that throughout the last thirty years.

    One thing is for sure you and your brothers very different relationships with your mum when she was well probably in some way influences your different responses to her illness.

    I was always the closest to my mum as a child and an adult as she and my late dad cared for our children while I worked, so the close bond was kept. My husbands parents died a long time ago too, so he looked on them as surrogate parents from early in our marriage, all these factors must affect how we deal with this horrible disease that takes away the ones we love in such a cruel way.

    The way I deal with it as I did from the the day my wonderful dad died recently is to focus on mum and try my best to see she is well cared for and to visit as often as I can, which is difficult I know with work and family commitments. if your brothers' don't want to, that is their choice and no amount of anger in you is going to alter that, so please let it go.

    I love my mum very much and I know somewhere inside she loves me too, even if she doesn't know who I am most of the time, she is still and always will be my lovely funny mum.

    Chin up
    Kathleen
     

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