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Mum has advised my dad's care home not to give me any information about my dad or allow me to visit.. can anyone help with advice please?

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
2,995
West Hertfordshire
So it sounds like I may not have the right to see my dad? Or challenge my mums behaviour being in his best interests ?
Presumably its set up that she is his POA, and you to replace her of anything happens to her before him.

in which case, No, you have no power at the moment
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,145
A replacement attorney can only act if the original attorney drops out.

I am my mother's attorney, and she also appointed a replacement attorney (her solicitor) in the event that something happens to me and I am unable to continue to act. It's basically a fall-back so that if the original attorney comes to grief, there is another attorney waiting in the wings who can take over.
 

northumbrian_k

Registered User
Mar 2, 2017
969
Newcastle
So it sounds like I may not have the right to see my dad? Or challenge my mums behaviour being in his best interests ?
You could do either of those without Power of Attorney. The best way to see your Dad will be to come to an agreement with your Mum, however difficult that may be. Challenging what your Mum has put in place ought to be a last resort. You first need to see things from her perspective and get a clear understanding of his best interests. This goes well beyond how it affects you. The only place to start is by opening a dialogue with your Mum and if possible showing support at what is a difficult time for her. You have no 'power' as such but do have an opportunity to attempt reconciliation. If possible try to have a conversation rather than relying on emails or other 'remote' methods.
 
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Jazzy007

Registered User
Feb 21, 2020
11
You could do either of those without Power of Attorney. The best way to see your Dad will be to come to an agreement with your Mum, however difficult that may be. Challenging what your Mum has put in place ought to be a last resort. You first need to see things from her perspective and get a clear understanding of his best interests. This goes well beyond how it affects you. The only place to start is by opening a dialogue with your Mum and if possible showing support at what is a difficult time for her. You have no 'power' as such but do have an opportunity to attempt reconciliation. If possible try to have a conversation rather than relying on emails or other 'remote' methods.
It's very difficult to do this when she wont answer the phone to me or reply to any mail or email.
I have been advised by the helpline to speak to the office of guardianship as there is no other reason to prevent me from knowing how my dad is but because she can. Last year a friend told me she had heard my dad had had a heart attack but I couldn't find anything out because noone was able to tell me anything and my mother wouldn't respond to any of the ways I used to contact her. It was devestating.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
2,995
West Hertfordshire
Presumably you and your mother fell out in fairly spectacular style- does what you fell out about male a difference? Did you fall out over your dads care? Sorry for asking but it may make a difference
 

Jazzy007

Registered User
Feb 21, 2020
11
My
Presumably you and your mother fell out in fairly spectacular style- does what you fell out about male a difference? Did you fall out over your dads care? Sorry for asking but it may make a difference
my sister committed suicide and I told my friends as her hubby had said he was telling people as well. My mother kicked off that I had the cheek to tell people without her permission. She then told
Me not to come to the funeral, said she would be buried but I found out when I emailed the funeral people that she had been cremated. And she hasn’t been interred to a crematorium or anything so I’ve never been able to say goodbye. My mum hasn’t spoken to me since, that’s two years ago next month. She didn’t even contact me in June when my husband died! So yeah .. we are done .
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
664
High Peak
My

my sister committed suicide and I told my friends as her hubby had said he was telling people as well. My mother kicked off that I had the cheek to tell people without her permission. She then told
Me not to come to the funeral, said she would be buried but I found out when I emailed the funeral people that she had been cremated. And she hasn’t been interred to a crematorium or anything so I’ve never been able to say goodbye. My mum hasn’t spoken to me since, that’s two years ago next month. She didn’t even contact me in June when my husband died! So yeah .. we are done .
I'm so sorry to hear this.