Mum got sectioned and now in psychiatric ward

[DianeG]

Hi

It's been a while since I have been on-line. I used to post regularly but life got a bit crazy and I stopped and just got on with things.

My mum is 57 with AD, she was diagnosed about 3 years ago but started to decline about 8 years ago (although we didnt know what was wrong). Mum and dad are now in warden assisted housing (2 years now). Quick summary of mum - she is now unable to pick clothes and dress herself, needs to be fed, cannot cook or clean, struggles visually, no interest in anything, wanders inside and outside the house, speech is limited, seeing things that are not there, lashing out at us now (having to stop her hurting us). She has moments where she aware, frustrated and upset and says frequently she 'just wants to die' or she 'wants to kill herself.'

Last week things got really bad and dad didn't know what to do. He calle dme late and night and she was trying to throw things and very physical with him and he had to restrain her. Next morning we had the doctor and mental health officer out and they sectioned her. She is now detained in hospita until they can fully assess her and determine what we do next. Social work just talk about putting her into a home and the hospital say she is at risk to herself and others and needs 24 hour care. We are in limbo at the moment waiting on assessments etc and it feels like we are the only ones wanting mum to return home. I appreciate we now need a different package of care i.e. we currently only have 4 days x 1 hour in the morning. Things rapidly changed over the past 2 weeks so I know our needs are different now but they just seem to say mum is a special case (because of her age) andnot giving us many options.

Anyone else been here before?

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Diane

It`s so sad to hear of your mother`s downturn and hospitalization.

My husband was not as violent as your mother, and more able, but was still aggressive, and wandered, which put him at risk to himself and others.

it feels like we are the only ones wanting mum to return home.

I told his consultant I would prefer him to be on medication to reduce the anxiety and aggression, even if it meant he was slightly sedated, in order to keep him at home. I knew he would prefer this to residential care or hospitalization. The consultant supported me and he is still at home, the medication proving most effective.
I hope you can talk to your mother`s doctors and see if they will give you a similar level of support.

 

[DianeG]

Thanks for taking the time to reply Sylvia. Good advice and we are trying to find medication that helps do just that. Trouble we have is mum doesnt want medicationa nd is refusing it. We are being creative and eventually getting it into her but not yet found the right combination. May I ask what support you at home i.e. do you have carers coming in, how often and when do you get your rest Sylvia?

Thanks
x

 

[Grannie G]

It has taken a very long time for me to get the support I need Diane but I have finally got effective support which has made a big difference to me.

When Dhiren was discharged from the assessment unit, we were allocated a CPN [Community Psychiatric Nurse]. He visited regularly and liaised with the consultant. He helps monitor his medication.

Dhiren wouldn`t have anyone in as carers for him, so through Direct Payments, I found a private agency which was willing to send carers in on the pretext of helping me. And help me they do , for they do my cleaning.

Dhiren accepted this and I told him I was embarrassed sitting around letting someone clean for me and he accepted it was better for me to go out while the `cleaner` was here.

I have the agency carers 8 hours a week.

The agency carer is so good, Dhiren began to accept that another presence in the house posed no threat to him. I have recently been able to bring Crossroads in as sitters, rather than cleaners, as Dhiren now accepts he should not be left alone.

The sitter comes for 4 hours a week, 3 hours on Mondays and 2 hours alternate Saturdays.

I now have time out every day except Sunday, a lot of my cleaning is done, Dhiren is safely supervised and I haven`t done any ironing since April. I have time for myself, more time to spend with Dhiren, and have been uplifted by the breaks.

I do hope your father can organize this type of help for himself. It will change his life.

 

[sad nell]

Diane sorry to hear of your mums deteriation and consequent sectioning, Mt husband was 56 when he was sectioned , his behaviour sounded very much like your mums, he was kept on an assesment ward 9 months, where he dropped like astone , became doubly incontinent, frequently so out of it with all the medication, the staff where good just the wtong policy and think many agreed it was not the right place for trev, ihad to fight hard to get trev home they all wanted him to go into full time care at 57, the homes that would have him were avful, so knew ihad to bring him home with the consultants backing and social sevices gave me loads of supprt as did our cpn, will not pretend it had been easy ( sometimes feel like running away) from the illness not trev, try and avoid haloperidol being given to your mother, it has terrible side effects, and is not intended for Ad patients, but is often used for agression, Ebixa mementine helped my husband with this stage, nice said no but consultant overuled, well worth giving a go, hope this has helped if i can help with anything eles , just ask, love and best wishes to all your family love pam

 

[Sarah W]

Hope you find more help.

Hello Diane,

I'm so sorry to hear what you and your family have been through. Somtimes it feels as if everyone is against your wishes doens't it? My mother was admitted to our local psychatric ward before she was diagnosed, as the mental health services in her area refused to entertain the possibility of her having dementia. She lost wieght, her communication was confusing and she lost alot of her 'spirit'. She now lives at home and has a great deal of support from her CPN and a care team we pay through direct payments. I totally agree with Grannie G that it takes a long time to get here but it's well worth the perserverence with Social Services and Community Mental Health nurses/teams to get what you want. With direct payments YOU ARE IN CHARGE of what care package your mother deserves and what fits in with your life. Direct payments for our familiy means that I can work part time, my brother and I can bring our own families up and our mother can feel safe and be well cared for by people she gets on well with and trusts. Hope you get more help and the distress you are experincing dies down for you concentrate on a way forward. xx

 

[DianeG]

Hi thanks for all your replies. Sorry I have not logged on sooner. It's been a bit mad trying to be a mum and be with mum at hospital as well. Just about to head in to the hospital to spend today with my mum - it is my birthday - not sure whether to tell her or not.

Things are moving along. They have a set a discharge date for 2 weeks time but this is to gee the social work along and get them to come up with the supports mum needs to go home. They say she now needs 24 hour care. My dad is there overnight so we reckon 12 hours a day would be fantastic. Social work not coming up with options at the moment though and still talking nursing homes! AHHHH! They did an ECG the other day and now starting Seroquel tablets (quetiapine) to hopefully help address the hallucinations and aggitation. She is also on lorazapan and diazapan (not sure how they are going to be altered with this new drug now being introduced). We also had to sign a form allowing drugs to be given to mum covertly as she is refusing to take them herself.

Yesterday we had her laughing - like she hadnt laughed in years - we loved it and she did too. Hoping for more of that today.

I have to go now but thanks so much ladies - it is comforting to know people know how I feel and also what to do.

Love
Diane x

 

[hazytron]

Dianne
Yesterday sounded very positive. I hope today goes well for you too. Best wishes for a very happy birthday.
Hazel

 

[Helen33]

Dear Diane

I haven't been in your position at all so I haven't commented but I do remember you and am wishing you all the best for your mum, dad and you

I would, however, like to comment on your Birthday


Love

 

[Grannie G]

Happy Birthday Diane
View attachment 7343

 

[DianeG]

Thank you all!! Means a lot to have people I have never met take the time to reply and comment. x

Mum was really bad yesterday. The enw drug made her really doppy and she was slurring her words one minute then grabbing and pushing me the next. She didnt understand it was my birthday but I am going to take some cake in this morning and show her a nice new bag my friends bought me, She will like it as it is bright pink!

Yesterday was all a bit emotional but today is another day and I am hoping we get her laughter back. This is like a blooming soap opera only it is my real life!

Thanks again ladies and hope all is well in your respective lifes.

Diane
x

 

[sad nell]

Belated birthday wishes Diane, sorry it was not such a good one, hope mum likes your new pink bag, what medication has she been started on, hope you have a better visit today love pam