Some who have read my previous threads will recall that we hit a crisis in June, with my mum being admitted to hospital mainly to protect my dad. I was extremely worried firstly that she would be allowed to return home and then, once it was agreed that couldn't happen, how difficult it would be to get her into the right care home. She is not self funding so I knew our options would be very limited, and there were possible additional complications because it would be against her will.
I was also very nervous having read some other experiences on this forum, about how difficult transfer from hospital to care home can be.
Well, I'm pleased to say that even though we only got one care home offer, it looks to be as close to perfect for mum as we could have hoped for. It's a small, independent and well established home, in an older house very similar to what mum has always lived in. It's licensed for only 15 residents, at present there are 11 and mum will be number 12. All are elderly ladies, all but 2 have dementia. The manager has been lovely, spent ages with me last week answering all my questions. Today I've been inside, seen everything, had the chance to unpack mum's things and arrange her room, which is a really nice one with a bag window and plenty of space.
Better still, mum is happy to go. She accepted about 3 weeks ago that she wouldn't be going back home, but she wasn't exactly enthusiastic. By the time the care home manager saw her on Tuesday she had decided that she's a widow now (that was hard to hear) and that I'm arranging for her to go to a little flat. The manager went along with that, said oh yes, your daughter has asked me to help organise that as she's busy with work right now, and mum was fine with that.
So I'm sitting in the cafe at the motorway services on my way home and crossing everything that the transfer goes well tomorrow. I think at the moment I mostly feel relieved but also very sad that this is the way it has to be. It's what mum needs, beyond doubt, but so sad she thinks my dad is dead.
I was also very nervous having read some other experiences on this forum, about how difficult transfer from hospital to care home can be.
Well, I'm pleased to say that even though we only got one care home offer, it looks to be as close to perfect for mum as we could have hoped for. It's a small, independent and well established home, in an older house very similar to what mum has always lived in. It's licensed for only 15 residents, at present there are 11 and mum will be number 12. All are elderly ladies, all but 2 have dementia. The manager has been lovely, spent ages with me last week answering all my questions. Today I've been inside, seen everything, had the chance to unpack mum's things and arrange her room, which is a really nice one with a bag window and plenty of space.
Better still, mum is happy to go. She accepted about 3 weeks ago that she wouldn't be going back home, but she wasn't exactly enthusiastic. By the time the care home manager saw her on Tuesday she had decided that she's a widow now (that was hard to hear) and that I'm arranging for her to go to a little flat. The manager went along with that, said oh yes, your daughter has asked me to help organise that as she's busy with work right now, and mum was fine with that.
So I'm sitting in the cafe at the motorway services on my way home and crossing everything that the transfer goes well tomorrow. I think at the moment I mostly feel relieved but also very sad that this is the way it has to be. It's what mum needs, beyond doubt, but so sad she thinks my dad is dead.