Mum going into respite care

[Skippii]

Can anyone offer practical advise on taking mum to respite care please? She is booked in for a two week stay mid June, but she will be very resistant to this as she thinks she is still coping and caring for her mum etc (long dead). We really need a break, but there can be no prior discussion of this, as it would be the same discussion over and over, and although she accepts our help and routine on a daily basis, she has no real comprehension that we are there every day all day.

Local advice is just drop her off and leave, but it seems terrible.

 

[count2ten]

Can anyone offer practical advise on taking mum to respite care please? She is booked in for a two week stay mid June, but she will be very resistant to this as she thinks she is still coping and caring for her mum etc (long dead). We really need a break, but there can be no prior discussion of this, as it would be the same discussion over and over, and although she accepts our help and routine on a daily basis, she has no real comprehension that we are there every day all day.

Local advice is just drop her off and leave, but it seems terrible.

I bottled out of this every time the subject came up - my mother hadn't got a clue how much support we were providing and just refused to go anywhere. I hope you manage to get her into the home and you get the break you need.

 

[daisydi]

We told my mum that we were going on holiday and were worried that she would not be able to look after herself and would be lonely and that we would worry about her if she did not have a holiday too!

 

[count2ten]

We told my mum that we were going on holiday and were worried that she would not be able to look after herself and would be lonely and that we would worry about her if she did not have a holiday too!

Good advice daisydi - now why didn't I think of that?!

 

[Liz57]

I'm in a similar situation. I've tried to say to mum that I've got to go away for a few days (true, to pick up my daughter from university) but she's adamant that she can manage on her own. She can't. I've been worrying a lot about how I'm actually going to get her things packed and to the care home.

 

[Beate]

You could tell her about some minor renovations being done to the house so she can't stay there during them?

 

[Quilty]

Blame the doctor

This is the tactic I always use. I tell Mum the doctor said she must have carers then when she ended up in hospital for months that the doctor said she could not go home and needed to live somewhere else.

Mum is now in a care home and thinks she is in a hotel! She is very happy and settled but does not think she lives there so wont let me bring the rest of her things - only her clothes and toiletries!

Tell you Mum the doctor says she needs building up and that he has found a great place where she will have 24 hour attention and can rest and enjoy herself. It might work but its worth a try. She then not arguing with you and your decision.

Bets of luck. We will all be here if you post again.