Have to admit I am dreading the future. See my mum daily to make sure she is eating and taking her meds. Recently she is becoming a bit stubborn and argumentative, also telling me that things are going missing (I know she is just misplacing them). She is obviously not washing , but describes in great detail about how she has had a lovely shower, I could previously prompt her to change by pointing out she had dribbled coffee on her blouse, but when I suggested she change today, she was really offended and said that she had put it on fresh that morning, she has had it on for just over a week now. Used to do a bit of quick cleaning whilst making her a cuppa and evening meal, but now she follows me around and objects. Am finding it hard now , so have no idea how i will deal when everything gets worse. I have bipolar 1 so struggle any way and 3 utterly useless brothers who i have no contact with. She has just been prescribed Donepezil, and I am under impression that once she is shown to tolerate it, she will be referred to GP and I will be on my own. Sorry for vent - feeling a little overwhelmed by the future, gotta take it one day at a time I guess.?
Mum finally diagnosed
- Thread starter illmyselfandoverwhelmed
- Start date
A warm welcome to @illmyselfandoverwhelmed. You'll find this a very friendly and supportive place.
Do you have Lasting Power of Attorney, because if you don't now would be the time to try and get it organised. With that you can help your mum with her finances etc and then take over managing her affairs if needed later down the line.
I'd also contact social services about a needs assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for you. SS are very stretched so if If your mum has assets of over £23,500 you could try and arrange some care to come in so that you don't have to do it all, though having them come round to suggest things might be useful.
If your mum seems to have got worse quickly it might be just the progression of the dementia but it could be that she has an infection. Urinary tract infections can play havoc with people with dementia, so maybe worth a check up with the doctor.
I'm sure others will be along soon with their suggestions. When my mum reached this stage was when I started to investigate care homes for her.
Do you have Lasting Power of Attorney, because if you don't now would be the time to try and get it organised. With that you can help your mum with her finances etc and then take over managing her affairs if needed later down the line.
I'd also contact social services about a needs assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for you. SS are very stretched so if If your mum has assets of over £23,500 you could try and arrange some care to come in so that you don't have to do it all, though having them come round to suggest things might be useful.
If your mum seems to have got worse quickly it might be just the progression of the dementia but it could be that she has an infection. Urinary tract infections can play havoc with people with dementia, so maybe worth a check up with the doctor.
I'm sure others will be along soon with their suggestions. When my mum reached this stage was when I started to investigate care homes for her.
do you have LPA for health and/or finance or an EPA?
is anyone else named on the LPA/EPA if so is it joint or joint and severally?
have you started using what’s known as love lies? Now would be a good time to use them. Eg “mum were going to x and y‘s wedding today, you’ll need to wear something smart.“ Hopefully she changes then, “oh sorry mum it’s not today that’s tomorrow/next week”. Or “(name someone your mum knows and would want to give a good impression to) is coming round today, we might need to tidy up a bit.“ And so on.
have you tried getting her involved in clubs or something, then using the time she’s away as down time and/or clean up time.
is anyone else named on the LPA/EPA if so is it joint or joint and severally?
have you started using what’s known as love lies? Now would be a good time to use them. Eg “mum were going to x and y‘s wedding today, you’ll need to wear something smart.“ Hopefully she changes then, “oh sorry mum it’s not today that’s tomorrow/next week”. Or “(name someone your mum knows and would want to give a good impression to) is coming round today, we might need to tidy up a bit.“ And so on.
have you tried getting her involved in clubs or something, then using the time she’s away as down time and/or clean up time.
