hi ive just been reading some threads and i am so sorry for anyone who has or is going through this and i now find myself in the same situation- my dad died in may- mums alzheimers got worse and after a hosp admission with pneumonia mum went into a nursing home- she cant walk, doubly incontinent, hardly talks etc and looks skeletal only weigh 35kg and its horrible seeing my mum suffering with this-she is a wonderfuyl mpther and person- mum has been given weeks if not days and is now end of life- mum had her chc check on 11th aug and was declined chc- the decision was made as they said by documented evidence and the opinion of the care home manager along with my own .what i find difficult is they could make this decision without the assessor or social worker seeing my mum, yet when decisions have to be made for my mums end of life they are asking me about my mums medical history, what i think is happening, how they should move forward etc - i am happy to give this information and i know i do know my mum better than they but do they ever read a patients medical records? mum has had some excellent care in hosp but im afraid my confidence in will my mum receive the best possible end of life care is worrying me- i feel isolated and trying my best in all situations- the home have assured me they can look after mum, does anybody else feel like this and feel that because a person is elderly and have no chance of recovery that some things are sidestepped? i am visiting mum every day and i have to keep my eye on things although in all honesty i feel im in a fog and acting on intuition -sorry such a long thread xx
mum end of life
- Thread starter karenbow
- Start date
Hello @karenbow
Please believe the care home when they say they will look after your mum. However painful it is to you it doesn`t seem as if your mother needs anything other than tender care and this is what you and the home are providing. Why do you need the social worker. They are not medics.
When my husband was at the end of his life, the last place I wanted for him was to be in hospital. His care home knew him and he was comfortable there and the only input the doctor had was to provide a syringe driver to ensure he died pain free.
If you can, trust your mother`s home. It`s such a painful time for you and you might be looking for better for your mother but you can`t get better than the best.
My husband was granted CHC automatically at the end of his life. He didn`t live long enough for it to be processed.
Please believe the care home when they say they will look after your mum. However painful it is to you it doesn`t seem as if your mother needs anything other than tender care and this is what you and the home are providing. Why do you need the social worker. They are not medics.
When my husband was at the end of his life, the last place I wanted for him was to be in hospital. His care home knew him and he was comfortable there and the only input the doctor had was to provide a syringe driver to ensure he died pain free.
If you can, trust your mother`s home. It`s such a painful time for you and you might be looking for better for your mother but you can`t get better than the best.
My husband was granted CHC automatically at the end of his life. He didn`t live long enough for it to be processed.
Hi @karenbow so very sorry to read your post. I hope your mum is settled & not showing any signs of pain.
Unlike many people on here our experience of mums end of life hospital care was positive in that medication was readily available to keep her comfortable. As she was mostly unconscious it didnt seem to matter that she was in hospital rather than back in her care home. The nurses were kind & attentive & gave us the privacy that we needed in a side room.
Mum was allocated CHC funding by Marie Curie nurse applying for it having assessed her at the hospital, although it came all too late in the end.
When it's end of life the assessment is different to normal one. I dont understand why in your mums case this hasn't been granted. I assume your mum is self funded? Does she have the end of life medication prescribed? If not I would be talking to the manager & GP about this. They can also get in touch with Marie Curie nurses if available in your area. If so you may be able to contact them yourself for support.
The issue of CHC funding is a very thorny one as you may know but the issue in getting it at this stage seems to come down to how close to the end a person is sadly. In my mums case it was agreed on the Monday & mum died on the Saturday so it does tend to be left to the last minute as @DesperateofDevon can tell you.
We had intended to get mum into a nursing home rather than back to her care home, who were in special measures at the time & had admitted they would be unable to meet her needs. My concern was always about her comfort & care & us being allowed access all of which was done ( pre covid thankfully).
I wish you well & hope you get the support you need. Also that your mums last weeks are peaceful. As awful as it is it is also a very special time to spend with your mum.
Unlike many people on here our experience of mums end of life hospital care was positive in that medication was readily available to keep her comfortable. As she was mostly unconscious it didnt seem to matter that she was in hospital rather than back in her care home. The nurses were kind & attentive & gave us the privacy that we needed in a side room.
Mum was allocated CHC funding by Marie Curie nurse applying for it having assessed her at the hospital, although it came all too late in the end.
When it's end of life the assessment is different to normal one. I dont understand why in your mums case this hasn't been granted. I assume your mum is self funded? Does she have the end of life medication prescribed? If not I would be talking to the manager & GP about this. They can also get in touch with Marie Curie nurses if available in your area. If so you may be able to contact them yourself for support.
The issue of CHC funding is a very thorny one as you may know but the issue in getting it at this stage seems to come down to how close to the end a person is sadly. In my mums case it was agreed on the Monday & mum died on the Saturday so it does tend to be left to the last minute as @DesperateofDevon can tell you.
We had intended to get mum into a nursing home rather than back to her care home, who were in special measures at the time & had admitted they would be unable to meet her needs. My concern was always about her comfort & care & us being allowed access all of which was done ( pre covid thankfully).
I wish you well & hope you get the support you need. Also that your mums last weeks are peaceful. As awful as it is it is also a very special time to spend with your mum.
Am happy to help with info regarding CHC funding & the accessing of it - I’m now helping sort out funding now Mums in 24/7 care as paperwork not sent through & if processed via d2a bed placement family are liable after 6 weeks I’ve been told today ?♀️
seriously broken system with legal obligations of duty of care not being adhered to .
