mum doesn't like day centre

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by bluejag69, Mar 16, 2015.

  1. bluejag69

    bluejag69 Registered User

    Oct 3, 2014
    67
    Hiya. Well got mum 1 day a week at a day centre thanks to social services, but I feel bad cos mum doesn't like it. She says its boring and they just sit there and a woman she was talking to says she hates going there.
    I need her to go really as I need to go back to work but I don't want her to be unhappy. The AgeUk day entre is qute expensive , mum can't really afford that.
    I'm from the wirral if anyone can help.
    Thanks , jackie xxx
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,206
    Merseyside
    Have you asked the staff how she is when she is there?
    She could be trying to guilt trip you.
     
  3. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    Hi Bluejag69,

    Its very early days yet, hun and if I were you, I would stick with it. My Mil objected strenuously to day care at first (and can still have days now where she tries to stay home rather than go) but I gradually came to realise that what she said to me about hating it wasn't necessarily true. In fact, once she gets there, I'm told that though she does have off days, mostly she seems quite happy there, and there is no doubt that the interactions with all the people there are really good for her. And from our point of view, if she didn't go there, then we would simply crash - we have to have free time to work, sort out things we can't do when she is home and sometimes, simply to get a very short break from being on alert with her when she is home.

    We tell Mil, who accepts that she has 'problems' with her memory (though she often doesn't think that the problems are that bad) that the best way to stop it getting worse is to 'exercise her brain' and that the Doctor has said that day care is the very best way for her to do this. This encourages her to go (because the 'doctor' is an authority figure, so she is less inclined to argue) and cuts down on the arguments. Perhaps, something like that will encourage your Mum too?

    Good luck x
     
  4. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    Hoow much are you calling 'expensive' for the Age UK daycentre? ours charges £20, which includes lunch and transport - I think that's a bargain!


    Have you actually seen what they do at the social services day centre? Is she choosing to not participate or is there not a lot to participate in?
     
  5. bluejag69

    bluejag69 Registered User

    Oct 3, 2014
    67
    Thanks guys. I will persevere and talk to the centre too.
    Jackie x
     

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