Mum doesn't like carer

[anita1780]

Hi everyone, I hired a carer for a few hours at home, mum was ok with her at the beginning but after a while my mum got annoyed at her, kept asking her to leave and didn't want any help from her getting dressed for bed and didn't like the carer touching her stuff in her bedroom. Well it was only her first day.

I noticed the carer was a bit too much in her face, following her around, do you think mum will get used to her ?, please any advice will be welcome, thank you

 

[Julia B]

Hello, we have a carer in twice a week to shower MiL, she has got used to her ( calls her the hairdresser!) and even enjoys a good moan with her about how the "others" move her stuff around and take her things ( she lives with us so not sure who they are but its all part and parcel of this pesky disease). As the illness progresses you will need help more and more, so stick with it, carers can seem very upfront and almost intrusive but they need to be upbeat and confident so that the help they are there to give can't be refused! Just be matter of fact...its her job, its what she loves doing, I think she's nice, etc etc..best of luck x

 

[Grannie G]

Perhaps you could ask the carer not to be too much in your mother`s face. She does sound a little intrusive.

We had one carer my husband really didn`t like. She would never leave him alone in the room and he felt `watched`. She couldn`t understand or change so we asked for a more sensitive carer.

 

[Gwendy1]

It's a bit of trial and error, I think. The carer has to get used to your mum's ways. And vice versa. See how it goes? Nothing's perfect straight away. Best of luck, fingers crossed for you all! Love from G. X


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[fizzie]

Perhaps they are both nervous! I think I would have a word with the carer and ask her to take a back seat for the first week or so while they get used to each other. Explain that your mother does need help but she doesn't need a 'nanny' but more of a companion/friend who is looking out for her. That might help the carer relax a bit. She is being really attentive which is lovely but probably gets up your Mother's nose lol. The will settle in together, but a quiet word might speed up the process xxxxx Well done you for getting this sorted quickly x

 

[Narnia]

I think you need to give it a bit of time, it is so concerning in the beginning to trust anyone else with your Mum. As my Mum had lots of carers over the years, I found that some that I had doubts about in the beginning would be the best at certain parts of caring and I would soon change my mind about them. There are some carers that just won't be the right fit and you will know in a short amount of time. My Mum had lots of carers and I found it easier to tell her that her friend was coming to visit. I always associated the carer with the best thing that my Mum liked about them e.g. your friend is coming, you know the one that does a lovely job painting your nails etc.
Hope it works out for you and your Mum.

 

[DMac]

Hi everyone, I hired a carer for a few hours at home, mum was ok with her at the beginning but after a while my mum got annoyed at her, kept asking her to leave and didn't want any help from her getting dressed for bed and didn't like the carer touching her stuff in her bedroom. Well it was only her first day.

I noticed the carer was a bit too much in her face, following her around, do you think mum will get used to her ?, please any advice will be welcome, thank you

Hi Anita, just to say I sympathise with you! We are experiencing similar issues with my mother-in-law, who has only just started to receive a care package, and cannot accept that she needs the help! At this early stage, we are fine-tuning the package, and we realise that it will take a while. We are hoping that she gets to like a couple of the carers - all of whom seem very nice to me - and that way, will accept them more readily in time. So I'd say persevere, but don't be afraid to raise your concerns with the care agency, so that they can respond to her needs appropriately. Good luck. xx