mum didn't have a clue where she was.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Michele, Dec 27, 2009.

  1. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007
    1,224
    Hi,

    My sister picked mum up Christmas Day to stay with them for the day. She had told us that she had packed her bags ready. When my sister turned up nothing was packed. She then spent the day with her, and I picked her up yesterday morning to come to us for a couple of days. My sister said that she didn't have a clue where she was Christmas Day and that at night mum went wondering into their bedroom at least twice :eek:

    Yesterday with us, she kept asking where she was. Last night she didn't have a clue where she was and I told her that she was at my house. We went over and over again where I lived and that she was safe with us.

    This is the first time this sort of thing has happened.

    x
     
  2. Vonny

    Vonny Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    4,577
    Telford
    Oh dear Michele, it's so sad when you realise that one more cognitive element has gone isn't it. Such a shame it happened at christmas too. I hope that apart from that you and your mum had a lovely time.

    Vonny xx
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,704
    Kent
    It`s a shock Michele and we can never be prepared as we have no idea when changes will happen.
    I hope you are all right. xx
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,710
    Female
    Dundee
    We are experiencing the same with mum just now. It's so hard to know what to do. Thinking of you. Take care. Izzy x
     
  5. donkey

    donkey Registered User

    Aug 16, 2009
    1,225
    sutton coldfield
    dear michelle, sorry this has happened hopefully after all the excitement and the coming and goings tyour mum will settle again, i know with my dad he is always happier when hes back home on familiar teritory, much as he loves seeing us he is happy when hes in his own chair his music on and his lovely views of the countryside and moterway? sending you a BIG HUG XXX
     
  6. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,317
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Sorry

    dear Michelle, i`m so sorry this is happening and wish you all the strenth in the world during this time, best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  7. imac.girll1

    imac.girll1 Registered User

    Feb 20, 2009
    2,974
    Glasgow
    Dear Michelle, just reiterating what the others have said, and wishing you strength to deal with it.

    When I take mother out in the car now these days, 9/10 times she will ask where we are, this is a new place, haven't been here for many years, etc etc., when actually it is nearly the same route we always take to go places. Some days I am patient enough to say yes it is pretty and new here, other days i am not so much, and say you have been here before. None of us can be angels 24/7, as it is trying on us as well as the sufferer.

    I am sure your mum will settle once back onto 'safe' ground, where ever that is for her in her mind.

    Love and best wishes,

    xx
     
  8. Brokenhearted

    Brokenhearted Registered User

    Nov 27, 2009
    82
    Wales
    feel sad for you

    Dear Michele,I feel so sad for you but know exactly how you must be feeling.We have the same problems with mum, and unless she's in her own bungalow, she becomes quite aggitated and wants to go home.She was at my sisters house yesterday and was wandering around (it's a big house) looking for the downstairs toilet,and apparently went into every room in her search for it. Why didn't my sister just take her there for God's sake?? Yesterday, poor mum was back in the house she lived in 67 yrs ago (in her mind of course) telling them her address. It breaks my heart to see this happening. My sisters and their husbands seem to think it's funny.They make mum the butt of their jokes and it hurts me so much. They will have it that mum is happy in her own way, but she looks so lost to me. Who is right here?? Sending you a big [[[hug]]]
    Brokenhearted
     
  9. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007
    1,224
    Thank you so much for your support. Mum is still with us today. We have the boys here too, and the eldest has come over with his girlfriend, they are all so wonderful to mum and help as much as they can.

    It is only 3pm, and I have already started on the wine :eek::eek:
    Well in fact, I started on it a bit earlier, I just feel it helps me through - oh dear that doesn't sound good.

    oh well - I thank the person who ever invented wine.

    xx
     
  10. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,317
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Me Too !!LOL

    And so say all of us !!LOL have a great day, norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  11. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007
    1,224
    Well, it has just got even worse. Mum is still with us. I have been up in the bathroom with my youngest being really ill, Throwing up every where. I have just come downstairs and mum has been wondering where I was. I explained the situation, and mum just changed the subject.

    Where is my mum I used to know, who would have been there to help me.

    Oh I hate this disease so much.

    xx
     
  12. donkey

    donkey Registered User

    Aug 16, 2009
    1,225
    sutton coldfield
    so say all of us michelle, hope your little one hasnt got a bug and hes just had too much chocolate thats all you need take care am thinking of you and your mum xxx
     
  13. Soup Runner

    Soup Runner Registered User

    Oct 3, 2008
    75
    Hertfordshire
    Michele

    I can't offer any helpful advice but I know how you are feeling so I'm sending you lots of hugs.

    Is your son feeling any better?

    Thinking of you

    Nina
     
  14. shelagh

    shelagh Registered User

    Sep 28, 2009
    476
    Staffordshire
    It really hurt to read the post about someone with AZ being the but of jokes. I can laugh at myself, I am happy for people to laugh with me but to be laughed AT for something that is so totally out of my control makes me feel sick deep down in my stomach.
    Hope your mum feels better when she is home - I know I do.
    Lots of love
    Shelagh
     
  15. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello Michele:
    I hope your son is feeling better now.

    It is dreadful when our loved one is unaware of where they are. My husband is in a care home and sometimes thinks it is our home (its too big and we made a mistake buying it :eek:). Today he thought it was his office - he was in the mood for managing it!!! One of the 'patients' had worked there for years and I was able to have a DAY OFF if I wanted as I deserved it!!!! :eek:

    When he was home with me he was equally confused and would wonder where his parents were.

    It is a lousy illness which constantly challenges the carers.

    Good luck Jan
     
  16. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Oh Shelagh - our posts crossed and I hope I have not upset you with my comments about David at home with me. Each is different and in no way was he able to control his actions as you do. I believe you are one special lady who is fortunate enough to tackle this damned illness head on!

    Love Jan
     
  17. scarletpauline

    scarletpauline Registered User

    Jul 19, 2009
    5,080
    Leicestershire
    Brokenhearted

    I think it's awful that your family make your dear mum the butt of their jokes, in fact it's unforgiveable, love Pauline xx
     
  18. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,710
    Female
    Dundee
     
  19. Prague09

    Prague09 Registered User

    Jul 22, 2008
    174
    essex
    It such a shock

    Hi Michelle, I remember with my Dad that he suffered from the not knowing where he was, it was a big problem for him and us.
    Even in his own bungalow where he had lived for 34 years, he would ask where he was, what were the neighbours like, and how many rooms were there.
    I feel for you, sadly nothing you can do, only to reassure that they are safe.
    Dad would also travel in his head and comment that he had been to visit someone or returned to his birth place.He would say he had walked miles.

    Best Wishes to you and the family for the new year.
    Prague
     
  20. Brokenhearted

    Brokenhearted Registered User

    Nov 27, 2009
    82
    Wales
    It hurts me too Sheelagh

    I've been in tears just a while ago imagining how my two sisters and their husbands were with my mum yesterday. She pulled a cracker and got a small comb out of it, then my brother in law began to play a tune on it with a piece of the novelty hat. They encouraged mum to do it and were all laughing at her attempts. Why are they so cruel? Even my nephew thinks his Gran is great....."she can hide her own easter eggs and never know where she's put them". I'm sure I'll blow up soon. Then my sister has the cheek to say mum is breaking both her and my elder sister, and the two brothers in law say she's killing them......where do I come in I wonder? I do the most for mum and always have. You are all so lovely and supportive, I wish I had found you earlier. Thank you, everyone.
    Brokenhearted x
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.